If you have any ambition in life your somewhat of a goal setter. Whether or not we accomplish those goals can be another story, but no the less we all tend to look forward toward something. I believe a great deal of success towards goals comes from keeping our eyes on the prize. We cannot suffer from "Goal ADHD". Distractions will derail you and kill all hopes of success and achievement. I know that's bluntly stating the obvious, but the real trick is to stay focused and to identify the distractions. Sometimes we don't always see them or know where they are coming from. We can simply drift off course slightly and then be sucked into the weeds, or it can be an outside force that comes from another direction blindsiding us and changing the direction of our focus.
Time since "the chair" has certainly come with it's ups and downs, it's time of hardship and times of achievement. Throughout it all I have tried to maintain one thought....one focus. God has a plan, and he will use it. This was hugely reinvigorated when I recently caught the Rich Froning documentary on Itunes(I would highly recommend checking it out). The main goal I have wanted through all of this(the accident) is for God to shine through in me.
Should be simple right? Satan is no slacker. He doesn't pull his punches and will take any opportunity to distract us. Lately I have felt a bit frustrated, it has began with the changing of the weather and an old passion stirring in me. This is the time of year to ride... cooler weather and precipitation lead to moisture in some of my favorite riding areas. Oh the days I would head to Paradise with some of my close riding buddies(so properly named...). It's left me a bit longing for the days, which in turn has stirred up some resentment for the chair. This left me drifting off course a bit, and before long I was in the weeds. My frustration carried and escalated into other areas involving the chair(which is pretty much everything). I really began to be disheartened with activities I'm unable to do on my own. How I would love to go to the gym and just do the same workout with everybody else. Instead of feeling like a burden to the coaches with special requests and additional attention. I really started to feel like my mission was unsuccessful, and my goal wasn't being met. How could I stand for God when I commanded so much personal attention? Why do I have to be such a pain to everybody, and why can't I do it all on my own? I have felt discouraged and dismayed that God wasn't coming through my efforts, that I wasn't standing more on my own for him.
Then it hit me(or God may have "slapped" me). We have been studying Daniel in church and what an amazing pillar he was the way he allowed God to use him. Pastor love recently did a message on Daniel and the lion's den(see Daniel 6 for more details). I was brought back to focus. I haven't looked to God enough for help. The problem is I've made it about me and tried to do it on my own. I was distracted focusing on MY efforts, MY perceptions, MY needs. I need to focus on others efforts and the willingness of others to be there for me, and humble enough to let them graciously. I need to personally pray more and allow God to keep me focused.
We recently did quite a few Hero WODs this past week with Veterans day. The common theme during these workouts were to focus on not your own efforts or struggles, but to reflect on the struggles and efforts that those endure to serve and protect us. It's a perspective changer. In the same way I need to do this with all my workouts. I want to do the same. In the same way we started these Hero WODs with a moment of silence and reflection, I will now start my workouts with prayer. I need to focus on God and the blessings he's given me, the strength, the drive, the spirit to push forward, and the support of those he has put around me. As far as God shining through me.... he'll take care of the rest. He will keep me focused.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Sacrifice
It's so interesting sometimes how we get set in our ways. We have our routines and comforts and feel like any shake up of those will completely destroy our world and how we function.
I remember when Danielle and I first got married and were living in condo in California that we didn't have a microwave. We didn't own one at the time and decided just to do without for awhile. The perception was that this would be a major inconvenience and we would eventually have to buy one. However what we really found is the way we adapted and cooking things in other ways became the norm. We accepted the fact that certain things were going to take longer to cook and it didn't bother us because those were our new expectations. In fact to this day we have yet to buy a microwave. We have one because it was in our house when we bought it, but if something happened to it I doubt that we would spend the money to replace it. After going without for a year back then we know that we can survive just fine without one.
It's funny though how we cling to "things" and think we can't survive without. And yet, despite the lack of use of something as major as my legs.... I seem to function just fine. My expectations have changed and I so with it. Oh sure somethings are definitely more difficult and take longer, but I've grown patience for it and I'm okay with it, it's just the new norm. I'm not gonna say that I don't have frustrating moments trying to figure out how to do tasks at times, but that's allowed me to get creative on new ways to get things done(just ask my daughter on how the two of us tag team laundry cause neither of us our capable by ourselves right now).
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "To different minds, the same world is hell, and a heaven" It may seem like hell to not have a cell phone and lose that communication with the world. Although it could be Heaven to enjoy the peace and quiet with the distraction.
I recently decided to do a fast with my Wife. I find that the best way to get deeper connected with God is to go without something in my life, every time I think(in this case food) about that thing I go to prayer and it puts me more focused on God. While it was with those intentions I started I also asked God for wisdom on my future eating habits. I thought it would be hard to give up the foods I wanted, I thought it would be "hell" to not have what I thought I needed. What I have discovered is a new "Heaven". Being in the wheelchair plays havoc on my digestive system and the ability for it to work, which in turn creates other issues. The cleaner eating has taken care of some of those issues and the simplification has brought a peace to my body in areas.
It has made me think about my "loyalties", and the things I perceive to be able to not live without. The gift and beauty of our human bodiesand spirit is we our very adaptable and what we treasure valuable may just be a curse.
I remember when Danielle and I first got married and were living in condo in California that we didn't have a microwave. We didn't own one at the time and decided just to do without for awhile. The perception was that this would be a major inconvenience and we would eventually have to buy one. However what we really found is the way we adapted and cooking things in other ways became the norm. We accepted the fact that certain things were going to take longer to cook and it didn't bother us because those were our new expectations. In fact to this day we have yet to buy a microwave. We have one because it was in our house when we bought it, but if something happened to it I doubt that we would spend the money to replace it. After going without for a year back then we know that we can survive just fine without one.
It's funny though how we cling to "things" and think we can't survive without. And yet, despite the lack of use of something as major as my legs.... I seem to function just fine. My expectations have changed and I so with it. Oh sure somethings are definitely more difficult and take longer, but I've grown patience for it and I'm okay with it, it's just the new norm. I'm not gonna say that I don't have frustrating moments trying to figure out how to do tasks at times, but that's allowed me to get creative on new ways to get things done(just ask my daughter on how the two of us tag team laundry cause neither of us our capable by ourselves right now).
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "To different minds, the same world is hell, and a heaven" It may seem like hell to not have a cell phone and lose that communication with the world. Although it could be Heaven to enjoy the peace and quiet with the distraction.
I recently decided to do a fast with my Wife. I find that the best way to get deeper connected with God is to go without something in my life, every time I think(in this case food) about that thing I go to prayer and it puts me more focused on God. While it was with those intentions I started I also asked God for wisdom on my future eating habits. I thought it would be hard to give up the foods I wanted, I thought it would be "hell" to not have what I thought I needed. What I have discovered is a new "Heaven". Being in the wheelchair plays havoc on my digestive system and the ability for it to work, which in turn creates other issues. The cleaner eating has taken care of some of those issues and the simplification has brought a peace to my body in areas.
It has made me think about my "loyalties", and the things I perceive to be able to not live without. The gift and beauty of our human bodiesand spirit is we our very adaptable and what we treasure valuable may just be a curse.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Behind the Scenes
I recently completed the competition of the Adaptive CrossFit Open. I felt very accomplished and learned so much about my fitness program. As I wrote in the last blog post it has reignited a passion in me that has refueled my competitive efforts. The relationships I have begun to build have been incredible as well. The CrossFit community has been wonderfully supportive and full of great individuals. It truly is a family in itself and has a community support that compares to the tightness of the Motocross community I have been a part of for so long(although I have no intentions of abandoning my MX family, props to my peeps!).
I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have been told several times of the way my actions have helped and inspired others. It is my hope to help grow the adaptive CrossFit community in the treasure Valley and hopefully the NW.
I think sometimes though people don't see the whole journey, and so like Mr. Harvey it is my intention to share the rest of the story. I feel like sometimes people see what I push myself to do in my workouts and have this perspective of me achieving something that would make my lifestyle at home simple in comparison. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
While the added strength does make some things easier in maneuverability there are still many daily struggles. For one, while I'm grateful and extremely blessed to have the career I do, especially in my current state, sometimes one of the toughest things is sitting behind my desk. It's comparable to a long car ride and the stiffness one feels at the end, sometimes I just ache. that's actually one of the critical components to my workouts, the increase in circulation and range of motion. It doesn't come without it's own added adversity though, with the lack of control in bowels and bladder it can create and added challenge I have to watch out for. I always have reservation in the back of my head when I give that added effort to complete that last pull-up or get that extra weight on the overhead press. That same exertion can often cause me to pee at the same time with the inability to separate the two.
The most frustrating hurdle I face is what I refer to as "the wall". Mostly because I don't fade into it, but go from 60-0mph as I completely face it at times in my life. It used to be I had a normal sense of managing my energy levels. I could feel fatigue come on and my battery would slowly diminish throughout the day and my efforts so that I could properly monitor my rest and activity windows to make sure I was properly recovering. Now, I don't know if it's just me or many paraplegics have the same issue, but I don't feel fatigue come on slowly. I can be running along(or rolling) fine and out of nowhere I will drop anchor. The ole body will literally just shut down, I will loose function, have no strength and have an incredibly difficult time maneuvering. Most times I have to concede myself to bed for about 24 hours to recover. If I ran myself into the ground enough, I also loose the ability to temperature regulate. I've gotten bad enough where I get the shivers for hours, regardless of the amount o bedding I pile on, and then suddenly without warning break into a drenching sweat. It makes me feel lazy and worthless at times to not hold true to my commitments when it happens because of the state of incapacitation I'm left in.
I think sometimes my new feats also creates a false perspective in my independence as well. I was reminded of a visual technique I used to use before I would go riding. I would often stand in the garage and dress myself for riding in my mind as a way to make sure that I wasn't forgetting anything. Socks, knee braces...check, pants, boots...oh, I forgot boots, and so forth. I often do the same thing now before transferring out of my chair. I run through a checklist to make sure I have everything I need when getting on my mat table to get dressed or when settling into bed for the evening. When I'm in bed or on my mat table and realize I HAVE forgotten something it quickly becomes a struggle between my independence and taking the time to get back into my chair and getting it myself. Do I simply bother Danielle or Joie to take a few seconds to interrupt their tasks and quickly grab what it is I need for me and do it in a 1/4 of the time. Or do I go through the energy draining, time consuming task of re-shifting my stuff out of the way, transferring back into my chair, taking the 20 seconds to grab what I need, roll back to the platform, transfer back out of my chair and proceed to start all over again with my task. Sure, I did it myself, but at what cost? There's also the guilt of knowing the added burden I put on both Joie and Danielle when I do ask them, knowing they have daily increased responsibilities already with my lack of assistance around the house. It's a constant daily grind.
While there has been some added attention and praise for my recent workout efforts, and the enjoyment of knowing and being told I have had inspirational moments for others to put their adversities in perspective, I would gladly trade it for an opportunity to be normal again in my daily routine like that(snapping fingers). And yet that's just not in the cards right now so there's no use in dwelling, but just a focus to strive to keep my head up, paint on the brave front and a contagious smile. While I wanted to share a glimpse into my battles, both physically and mentally, I don't look for sympathy, but simply a purer understanding of the back layers of difficulty a struggle can bring to someone. I know God has a plan and I will continue to look towards him and follow it. In the mean time, be grateful for those in your life and the help they give. Those that do there best to make your life easier with extra burden in theirs. Soak in the positive reinforcement others bring your way, and convert it to fuel your own determination to press on. Most importantly, I've said it before and will say it again, God is strong and brings me strength. We will see you at the box!
I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have been told several times of the way my actions have helped and inspired others. It is my hope to help grow the adaptive CrossFit community in the treasure Valley and hopefully the NW.
I think sometimes though people don't see the whole journey, and so like Mr. Harvey it is my intention to share the rest of the story. I feel like sometimes people see what I push myself to do in my workouts and have this perspective of me achieving something that would make my lifestyle at home simple in comparison. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
While the added strength does make some things easier in maneuverability there are still many daily struggles. For one, while I'm grateful and extremely blessed to have the career I do, especially in my current state, sometimes one of the toughest things is sitting behind my desk. It's comparable to a long car ride and the stiffness one feels at the end, sometimes I just ache. that's actually one of the critical components to my workouts, the increase in circulation and range of motion. It doesn't come without it's own added adversity though, with the lack of control in bowels and bladder it can create and added challenge I have to watch out for. I always have reservation in the back of my head when I give that added effort to complete that last pull-up or get that extra weight on the overhead press. That same exertion can often cause me to pee at the same time with the inability to separate the two.
The most frustrating hurdle I face is what I refer to as "the wall". Mostly because I don't fade into it, but go from 60-0mph as I completely face it at times in my life. It used to be I had a normal sense of managing my energy levels. I could feel fatigue come on and my battery would slowly diminish throughout the day and my efforts so that I could properly monitor my rest and activity windows to make sure I was properly recovering. Now, I don't know if it's just me or many paraplegics have the same issue, but I don't feel fatigue come on slowly. I can be running along(or rolling) fine and out of nowhere I will drop anchor. The ole body will literally just shut down, I will loose function, have no strength and have an incredibly difficult time maneuvering. Most times I have to concede myself to bed for about 24 hours to recover. If I ran myself into the ground enough, I also loose the ability to temperature regulate. I've gotten bad enough where I get the shivers for hours, regardless of the amount o bedding I pile on, and then suddenly without warning break into a drenching sweat. It makes me feel lazy and worthless at times to not hold true to my commitments when it happens because of the state of incapacitation I'm left in.
I think sometimes my new feats also creates a false perspective in my independence as well. I was reminded of a visual technique I used to use before I would go riding. I would often stand in the garage and dress myself for riding in my mind as a way to make sure that I wasn't forgetting anything. Socks, knee braces...check, pants, boots...oh, I forgot boots, and so forth. I often do the same thing now before transferring out of my chair. I run through a checklist to make sure I have everything I need when getting on my mat table to get dressed or when settling into bed for the evening. When I'm in bed or on my mat table and realize I HAVE forgotten something it quickly becomes a struggle between my independence and taking the time to get back into my chair and getting it myself. Do I simply bother Danielle or Joie to take a few seconds to interrupt their tasks and quickly grab what it is I need for me and do it in a 1/4 of the time. Or do I go through the energy draining, time consuming task of re-shifting my stuff out of the way, transferring back into my chair, taking the 20 seconds to grab what I need, roll back to the platform, transfer back out of my chair and proceed to start all over again with my task. Sure, I did it myself, but at what cost? There's also the guilt of knowing the added burden I put on both Joie and Danielle when I do ask them, knowing they have daily increased responsibilities already with my lack of assistance around the house. It's a constant daily grind.
While there has been some added attention and praise for my recent workout efforts, and the enjoyment of knowing and being told I have had inspirational moments for others to put their adversities in perspective, I would gladly trade it for an opportunity to be normal again in my daily routine like that(snapping fingers). And yet that's just not in the cards right now so there's no use in dwelling, but just a focus to strive to keep my head up, paint on the brave front and a contagious smile. While I wanted to share a glimpse into my battles, both physically and mentally, I don't look for sympathy, but simply a purer understanding of the back layers of difficulty a struggle can bring to someone. I know God has a plan and I will continue to look towards him and follow it. In the mean time, be grateful for those in your life and the help they give. Those that do there best to make your life easier with extra burden in theirs. Soak in the positive reinforcement others bring your way, and convert it to fuel your own determination to press on. Most importantly, I've said it before and will say it again, God is strong and brings me strength. We will see you at the box!
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Refueled
I am competitive... incredibly competitive... ridiculously Competitive! I'm that guy playing board games. I turn things into a competition that aren't meant to be. I'm the guy that competes with himself. I'm competitive about my job, I always wanna be one of the best agents with Farmers. I just compete, plain and simple.
When I got hurt it became a competition, especially when the realization hit me on how badly I was hurt. I pushed to see how quickly I could get out of the hospital, I wanted to master tasks and build strength as quickly as possible. I would go to the therapy room when I was in the hospital and do extra workouts to push as much as I could. I played wheel chair rugby(A.K.A. Murder Ball, great name) just 4 months after my accident and only 1 month removed fro staying at the hospital. I have to be challenged to have drive, and competition is my fuel.
There has been a sort of emptiness without motocross in my life. I mean, on so many levels I'm okay with it. Mostly because I know God always has a purpose and a plan. I trust that, but it doesn't make it easy. I miss that carrot in my life, that drive to push myself to be better at something. to win races, and frankly just battle with someone(shout out to the Vet crew! I miss lining up with you boys!).
After my injury I knew that my success in staying positive and not dwelling on my injury was to find something quickly to replace Motocross with as quickly as I could. At first just the recovery was enough to drive me. Then I quickly looked at options and thought what made the most sense was mountain biking(very similar to dirtbikes). So I have been striving to get one, but they are not cheap, especially with the mountain of Med bills and all that. So it's something I still look towards in my future and have a desire to get into, hopefully sooner than later, but it will take a little time.
In the mean time God has unexpectantly opened another door for me. I've had the blessing to get to know a few individuals through a sponsor Red Rush and old friend from my training days over at Concept2 rowers that have united me with the Crossfit world. Given my training background I've always been a neighbor to Crossfit, but never actually connected to it. I have gotten to know some individuals that have opened the world to me and the process of competing from a wheel chair.
The drive is back. The fuel that once burned inside has been restoked, and as I ready myself for the Adaptive Crossfit Open and the camaraderie I begin to build with other athletes around the world I can't help but think about this as a gift from God I never expected. I look forward to being part of a movement to grow this sport locally at the adaptive level and bring competition back into others lives. Huh? He truly works in mysterious ways...
When I got hurt it became a competition, especially when the realization hit me on how badly I was hurt. I pushed to see how quickly I could get out of the hospital, I wanted to master tasks and build strength as quickly as possible. I would go to the therapy room when I was in the hospital and do extra workouts to push as much as I could. I played wheel chair rugby(A.K.A. Murder Ball, great name) just 4 months after my accident and only 1 month removed fro staying at the hospital. I have to be challenged to have drive, and competition is my fuel.
There has been a sort of emptiness without motocross in my life. I mean, on so many levels I'm okay with it. Mostly because I know God always has a purpose and a plan. I trust that, but it doesn't make it easy. I miss that carrot in my life, that drive to push myself to be better at something. to win races, and frankly just battle with someone(shout out to the Vet crew! I miss lining up with you boys!).
After my injury I knew that my success in staying positive and not dwelling on my injury was to find something quickly to replace Motocross with as quickly as I could. At first just the recovery was enough to drive me. Then I quickly looked at options and thought what made the most sense was mountain biking(very similar to dirtbikes). So I have been striving to get one, but they are not cheap, especially with the mountain of Med bills and all that. So it's something I still look towards in my future and have a desire to get into, hopefully sooner than later, but it will take a little time.
In the mean time God has unexpectantly opened another door for me. I've had the blessing to get to know a few individuals through a sponsor Red Rush and old friend from my training days over at Concept2 rowers that have united me with the Crossfit world. Given my training background I've always been a neighbor to Crossfit, but never actually connected to it. I have gotten to know some individuals that have opened the world to me and the process of competing from a wheel chair.
The drive is back. The fuel that once burned inside has been restoked, and as I ready myself for the Adaptive Crossfit Open and the camaraderie I begin to build with other athletes around the world I can't help but think about this as a gift from God I never expected. I look forward to being part of a movement to grow this sport locally at the adaptive level and bring competition back into others lives. Huh? He truly works in mysterious ways...
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Personal Connections
I grew up a Seahawks Fan living most of my life in the wet, dreary area of Battle Ground, Washington(not that for a long time I've really bragged about being a Hawk fan). I can remember watching games with my uncles growing up, who were huge, die hard, Seattle fans. I remember attending my first game in person, that allowed me to get to know my Aunt's new husband better. We ventured to the Kingdom where we allowed to watch them play Joe Montana and the Kansas City Chiefs(Course the hawks lost 16-32). I was able to get my first Hawks hat.
Last year my passion for the Seahawks was deepened greatly, with my accident happening exactly one week before the Super bowl I was still a resident of St. Als at the time just a few days removed from ICU. In arguably one of the darkest times of my life, the super bowl served as a bright spot for me. I was a bit nervous though with the Seahawks performance in their first big game(Or the Refs performance I should say). My brother and father brought in a 50" TV to my hospital room so we could watch the game in HD and all it's glory.
While the Super bowl seemed a disappointment to most being such a blowout, it served as a silver lining to my grey cloud. A bright spot that in a time of tragedy created a sub-conscious bright spot that deepened my love for the Hawks. It gave me a inside perspective if you will to those that request time with teams and athletes through Make a Wish. It allows them to create an experience that puts a smile on there face and shine a light during a dark time.
Tomorrow serves as the anniversary date for my accident. It's funny, I was reflecting today on how the weather this year compared to last is very reflective to where I was and where I am now. I feel more accomplished through the path the Lord has led me this last year than I have through any other time in my life. I have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to learn what I'm really made of.
There is no other time to learn your true character, your true friends, and what kind of seeds you have sown, but when you are at your lowest.
Experience; the best description of this last year. The closeness I have enriched with my family, the relationships that have deepened with friends, the drive and determination I have learned I possess, the unlimited possibilities and power I have witnessed that God will use when allowed... my greatest experience.
In regards to my reflection on the Super bowl, players and fans talk about games like the Super bowl as an unbelievable experience. But I will argue that the greatest and most unbelievable experience we can be a part of is that of us allowing God's plan and will to guide our lives. It will bring the unexpected and be an experience like you could never imagine.
With it's proximity in date, the Super Bowl will always serve as a reminder of this for me... Go Hawks!!
Last year my passion for the Seahawks was deepened greatly, with my accident happening exactly one week before the Super bowl I was still a resident of St. Als at the time just a few days removed from ICU. In arguably one of the darkest times of my life, the super bowl served as a bright spot for me. I was a bit nervous though with the Seahawks performance in their first big game(Or the Refs performance I should say). My brother and father brought in a 50" TV to my hospital room so we could watch the game in HD and all it's glory.
While the Super bowl seemed a disappointment to most being such a blowout, it served as a silver lining to my grey cloud. A bright spot that in a time of tragedy created a sub-conscious bright spot that deepened my love for the Hawks. It gave me a inside perspective if you will to those that request time with teams and athletes through Make a Wish. It allows them to create an experience that puts a smile on there face and shine a light during a dark time.
Tomorrow serves as the anniversary date for my accident. It's funny, I was reflecting today on how the weather this year compared to last is very reflective to where I was and where I am now. I feel more accomplished through the path the Lord has led me this last year than I have through any other time in my life. I have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to learn what I'm really made of.
There is no other time to learn your true character, your true friends, and what kind of seeds you have sown, but when you are at your lowest.
Experience; the best description of this last year. The closeness I have enriched with my family, the relationships that have deepened with friends, the drive and determination I have learned I possess, the unlimited possibilities and power I have witnessed that God will use when allowed... my greatest experience.
In regards to my reflection on the Super bowl, players and fans talk about games like the Super bowl as an unbelievable experience. But I will argue that the greatest and most unbelievable experience we can be a part of is that of us allowing God's plan and will to guide our lives. It will bring the unexpected and be an experience like you could never imagine.
With it's proximity in date, the Super Bowl will always serve as a reminder of this for me... Go Hawks!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Finish Strong
It's like that movie that you think has climaxed, and the antagonist is at the most difficult position and now they will work their way back to the top. Suddenly there is a twist and a new challenge presents itself and pushes them even further down.
That's kind of the way the end of this year has been for myself. A whole new set of challenges has presented itself. It seems my hips have decided to be difficult and present some complications. My left hip that I dislocated and damaged the femoral head has been challenging due to the joint trying to become one solid bone from a large calcium deposit due to immobilization. Something I have to continually stretch and range my legs to fight as a counteraction. My right hip has collected fluid due to extreme arthritis(apparently I have been hard on my body is what they tell me). It rolls like a skate board wheel with a flat spot and can lock up when that spot catches.
I constantly think back to the time I was in the hospital, I had this perception(or delusion, depends on how you look at it) that I would be down for a couple weeks and then promptly begin to return to normal. Now at almost a year later I find myself frustrated and inpatient at times in my continued recovery process. I have found that normal isn't as much of a set pattern in routine as much as being adaptable and receptive to what life throws my way.
I take pride in knowing how far I've come through perseverance and pure stubborn relentlessness. While I find some discouragement in knowing at only one year post accident my journey has just begun, I take solace in knowing I have been ahead of the curve in my recovery and regaining my strength. My training habits of old are more important toady then they I have ever been. I often compare physical difficulties to a 6-8 hour road trip in a car. That feeling you have when you are finally able to step out of the vehicle and stretch, that stiffness you feel from the lack of mobilization and circulation is my daily struggle. Its my daily workout that promotes my circulation and combats this challenge.
It shows me the importance in our daily habits and the discipline we build in our lives. God has given us the ability to prepare ourselves for what ever may come our way in life. The challenges and adversity we face can be minimized with inner built strength and preparation. How we live our life reflects how high the mountains are we climb and how low the valleys are we recess in to.
There is a saying " The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation" I have always lived life by this mantra and it finds me feeling very lucky despite what has happened. 2014 has found me very blessed with many victories. I look forward to what 2015 will hold and hope the new year finds you with your daily walk and preparation to be "lucky" in life.
That's kind of the way the end of this year has been for myself. A whole new set of challenges has presented itself. It seems my hips have decided to be difficult and present some complications. My left hip that I dislocated and damaged the femoral head has been challenging due to the joint trying to become one solid bone from a large calcium deposit due to immobilization. Something I have to continually stretch and range my legs to fight as a counteraction. My right hip has collected fluid due to extreme arthritis(apparently I have been hard on my body is what they tell me). It rolls like a skate board wheel with a flat spot and can lock up when that spot catches.
I constantly think back to the time I was in the hospital, I had this perception(or delusion, depends on how you look at it) that I would be down for a couple weeks and then promptly begin to return to normal. Now at almost a year later I find myself frustrated and inpatient at times in my continued recovery process. I have found that normal isn't as much of a set pattern in routine as much as being adaptable and receptive to what life throws my way.
I take pride in knowing how far I've come through perseverance and pure stubborn relentlessness. While I find some discouragement in knowing at only one year post accident my journey has just begun, I take solace in knowing I have been ahead of the curve in my recovery and regaining my strength. My training habits of old are more important toady then they I have ever been. I often compare physical difficulties to a 6-8 hour road trip in a car. That feeling you have when you are finally able to step out of the vehicle and stretch, that stiffness you feel from the lack of mobilization and circulation is my daily struggle. Its my daily workout that promotes my circulation and combats this challenge.
It shows me the importance in our daily habits and the discipline we build in our lives. God has given us the ability to prepare ourselves for what ever may come our way in life. The challenges and adversity we face can be minimized with inner built strength and preparation. How we live our life reflects how high the mountains are we climb and how low the valleys are we recess in to.
There is a saying " The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation" I have always lived life by this mantra and it finds me feeling very lucky despite what has happened. 2014 has found me very blessed with many victories. I look forward to what 2015 will hold and hope the new year finds you with your daily walk and preparation to be "lucky" in life.
Monday, December 1, 2014
The Highs and the Lows...
I really dislike the word "can't". In fact I don't allow it in our house. When Joie wants to say "I can't", I have her replace it with the phrase "it's difficult". Because while we can do it, it can still be difficult.
I'm finding that most things I do nowadays are difficult. The simplest task takes so much more effort than it used to. everything takes so much more time. Most would think I have the ideal job in my situation, and while there is no doubt I'm blessed to continue work without interruption from my accident... it's still difficult. The chair hurts, especially just sitting in it. Truth is I'm usually good for 2-3 hours in the office before my butt is just on fire and my back aches. Then I typically have to run and errand or two before making it home to find some relief. I usually just want to lay down to release pressure, but inevitably within 10-15 minutes I fall asleep. Typically after that I have to get back up and do therapy, or workout. It's actually very important for my strength to get around and more importantly for my circulation. If I don't workout I get very tight and my hips, back and shoulders become extremely uncomfortable and painful.
I guess I'm sharing this because I think sometimes I paint an unrealistic picture about what I go through. I won't complain, I strive to be positive in all things because it helps me get through. I want to be that person to look up to by finding the good in all I do. But I think sometimes it makes my situation look easier than it is, like I recovered and moved on with minimal disruption. I feel I've made the best of it. However, it comes at a cost of feeling isolated and alone at times with my struggle because I push to keep it internal. I feel if I don't talk about it, I won't give it more power. So I strive to shine light and determination on everything I do. And while I feel good about the compliments and encouraging words from others, it sometimes makes me feel like an actor, a poster boy that has a behind the scenes story.
I will continue to be positive, It's the root of my success. I'm a fighter, and I will always fight. It's the responsibility I have in what has been given to me. I just urge you to always keep in mind, just because somebody has that priceless "can do" attitude... doesn't mean it isn't difficult.
I'm finding that most things I do nowadays are difficult. The simplest task takes so much more effort than it used to. everything takes so much more time. Most would think I have the ideal job in my situation, and while there is no doubt I'm blessed to continue work without interruption from my accident... it's still difficult. The chair hurts, especially just sitting in it. Truth is I'm usually good for 2-3 hours in the office before my butt is just on fire and my back aches. Then I typically have to run and errand or two before making it home to find some relief. I usually just want to lay down to release pressure, but inevitably within 10-15 minutes I fall asleep. Typically after that I have to get back up and do therapy, or workout. It's actually very important for my strength to get around and more importantly for my circulation. If I don't workout I get very tight and my hips, back and shoulders become extremely uncomfortable and painful.
I guess I'm sharing this because I think sometimes I paint an unrealistic picture about what I go through. I won't complain, I strive to be positive in all things because it helps me get through. I want to be that person to look up to by finding the good in all I do. But I think sometimes it makes my situation look easier than it is, like I recovered and moved on with minimal disruption. I feel I've made the best of it. However, it comes at a cost of feeling isolated and alone at times with my struggle because I push to keep it internal. I feel if I don't talk about it, I won't give it more power. So I strive to shine light and determination on everything I do. And while I feel good about the compliments and encouraging words from others, it sometimes makes me feel like an actor, a poster boy that has a behind the scenes story.
I will continue to be positive, It's the root of my success. I'm a fighter, and I will always fight. It's the responsibility I have in what has been given to me. I just urge you to always keep in mind, just because somebody has that priceless "can do" attitude... doesn't mean it isn't difficult.
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