Like a Boy Scout...

I grew up in an entrepreneurial household.  Aside from the farm being a family business my father had other small family businesses he had pursued and succeeded with, the truck dealership, A PEO company, a feed mill and compost company to name a few.  Throughout all these family ventures there was always a common theme... hard work and CYB(cover your butt).  In all dealings, in all activities make sure that you've done things right to protect yourself  and know that you are prepared.

I think that is a big part of handling any adversity, making sure you are prepared.  I look as adversity as a training program.  I always tell my athletes "The harder you work today, the easier it will be tomorrow".  The more in life I fight through the challenges and adversity, the easier it is to overcome and fight through the next adversity.  It becomes a life long training program really. 

I also believe that the lord prepares us for the challenges that will come later with the obstacles we face today.  It's definitely a thread I can see play out in my life now.  When I raced motocross professionally I was careful to be real with myself and stay grounded, my natural abilities were not strong.  I knew I wasn't going to be one of the fast guys on the track, so to make up for that I worked hard to make sure I was in better shape to do my best to outlast the speed of others.  I may not have been the fastest, but I was always one of the strongest, both physically and mentally.  Overcoming this challenge in my racing career is what led to my opportunities as a trainer.

My training program continued to develop throughout the years and I was always pushing myself and my body.  Danielle has always given me a hard time because I was constantly complaining of being sore.  The stronger I got, the harder I would push to bring the pain.   I slowly conditioned myself to experiencing fatigued muscles as just a part of life. 

Little did I know the big guy was preparing me.  Since my accident my back, my hips, my legs constantly hurt.  Some days are better than others, but I have accepted a certain level of constant aching that will always be there.  It's something I will live with, but because of the mental and physical conditioning of my past it's something I can live with.  I guess I'm lucky.

Course I only feel that way based on my definition of lucky.  Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.  Opportunity is a common, optimistic word to use as a replacement for problem.  I have handled this opportunity because I was prepared. 

I encourage all to look at adversity and challenges in life as way to prepare yourself for the next opportunity.  The perspective will not only make challenges easier to face... you also might find it just may change your future luck.

The Ripple Effect

Most of us have seen or heard of the movie "The Butterfly Effect", based on the premise that it would be nice to go back in time and change certain things.  However, actually doing so could have grave consequences on how things in are life can be effected, and the outcome can be worse than what we originally experienced.  The part in this plot I thought to be the most interesting wasn't how it effected the outcome of the lead characters future, but how small changes in his past greatly changed the future of everybody else close to him in his life. 

There is no doubt or surprise to how much life has taken a turn down a serious different interstate for me.  This isn't exactly something you plan for, but not much that happens in our lives is planned for.  It isn't so much what happens to us in our lives, but how we react to what happens that has the most meaning and power in our future experiences.  There is no doubt there are several things I miss taking part in; just going for a run, going on foothill hikes, ridin my dirtbike just for starters  Camping is a different experience I still enjoy but I'm adjusting to now in a more comfortable manner, not really "rough'in it any more.  I would love to just jump up and be able to go to the bathroom real quick in the middle of the night when there is a need!  And yet, because my life has been forced to change there are things I am able to see an experience in a different light.  I have been forced to hand off more tasks and responsibilities at work, and because of that there are things I enjoy being  part of that I wouldn't have taken the time to do before, like taking the time to pick my daughter up from school and hearing about the adventures of her day.  Sometimes a forced slow down from the rat race can be a blessing if you look at it the right way, and listen to what life(or the Lord) is telling you.

Yeah....big changes.
Consider though remembering the nuisance's of the movie?  I just described  how it has changed my life, which is what tends to be right out in front and obvious.  The real difficulty is the impact it has had on everybody else around me.  How it will shape and impact Joie's life because of things we have gone through.  My daughter has done a lot of growing up this year, ready or not.  And like I touched upon before, how it has effected our staff in our office.  It has been career changing for some, and I have seen growth and acceleration in others beyond all expectations.  While they have done an outstanding job, its not a load they signed up for, but have accepted.  Despite still being overwhelming and daunting at times.

Then there is my wife, who has had to step up and shoulder more responsibility than anybody.  Who has had to muster more strength and courage than all others with no choice in the matter.  Well, actually she didn't have to, she could have chosen not to, but she has.  It has been harder than anybody has seen or can imagine on her.  I thank God everyday he chose her to be my partner on this transition!  As accepting as I have been of this life change there are still times  I wish I could go back and change it for her and them more than anything. 

Or do I?  Maybe the alternate path taken could have turned out so much worse in ways I don't see or imagine.  I have to remember that God has a plan, for all of us.   I have to remember that the path we take or are forced onto isn't just for a reason(you know, everything happens for a reason), but a destiny. If we are wise and  listen to his guidance along the detours we are delt, then that destiny will be filled with so many blessings. 

Oh, and in your consideration for others you care for and the hardships they face... remember to care and be there for those around them whom equally face their own challenges.

Is your filter clogged?

I watch a lot of sports news, I listen to a lot of sports radio.  Partly because I really love sports.  But mostly because unlike the regular news, which I never pay attention to, its mostly positive.  Yes there are times when there is content toward the negative side, but for the most part sports media is about what some did outstanding or what they achieved against the opposition.  It constantly reminds me of what we are capable of with the right attitude and if we push ourselves.

That's difficult for anybody though if your living on the wrong side of the Law of Attraction.  Its no new revelation that we are all influenced by what we surround ourselves with, that we can create our own negative or positive subliminal messaging with our environment. I think a large part of my handling the accident in such a strong way is the company I keep.  Having those that remind me of my faith, and point out the strengths in my life has been a true blessing.  Of course I could have just as easily surrounded my self with a pity parting and gone into self loathing if I had chosen too.  The key word being choice.

  I also believe if I choose to put a smile on my face, and choose to look at what I can accomplish instead of what is a struggle I help create that positive environment.  I don't know too many people that can get smiled at and reciprocate with a scowl.  It begins with us and what we choose to project, then our message is enforced with the company we keep.  I know there are times when you just get stuck with Eeyore.   But that's when we have to steup up and be the Tigger.  That's also when I use my filter.  We all have selective hearing, it's just a manner of how we use it and what we choose to absorb and reflect.  I literally just choose to tune out when somebody goes negative on me, it does me no good to internalize it.

Don't get me wrong I don't think we have to live in fantasy land.  I still think we can be real.  In fact I think Iam very real.  I also think there is a lot of good that can come out of struggles and adversity.  Purely in the common focal points of adversity making us stronger, the lesson's we learn from struggles, and how they can shape us as an individual.  Life isn't always meant to be easy, to be honest if it was it would be pretty boring. Without sour, sweet wouldn't be sweet. 

I thinks that's why I have decided to start a side career doing motivational speaking, to focus on my Law of Attraction.  With the struggles I now face I need to remind myself the blessings that can come of it.  I can use this mission to hold myself accountable and hopefully help some others remodel there circle of influence along the way.   With God's help I can have an impact on shaping the future outlook of others....as well as my own.

Shoes to Fill

I had the Fortunate privilege recently to enjoy a much needed vacation on Farmers Insurance dime, thanks to some hard work from myself, Christie, and other staff in our office.  We headed to San Antonio with quite a bit of nervousness.  I wasn't really sure how things might work out being our first big trip.  After all I had taken a small road trip to Vancouver, Washington to see family for a weekend and it hadn't gone so well.  So while we were excited to get away, we were very anxious on how things might work out.  But what I didn't expect was the life changing experience this trip might hold for me(as if I didn't have enough of that going on lately already).

Being a business trip there were several conventions and sessions Farmers puts on along with all the fun.  One of the sessions featured guest speaker Marcus Lutrell(the Lone Survivor from Seal Team 10).  I was immediately moved as he shared his story, including the background of his upbringing and training, honoring the memory of his comrades with the details of there mission.  He spoke in a manner that came off unrehearsed, from the heart, and almost as if he was in some instances reliving his experience. 

Suddenly I felt an unusual calm uncertainty inside that left a flat feeling in my stomach.  The challenges that I had faced up to this point felt like nothing but a simple drop in the bucket.  The monumental hill I had felt like I was recently climbing turned before my eyes into a mole hill.  I was absolutely left speechless inside my own head with what a man can endure as he described the events his teammates and himself endured on their mission.  The impact of what I had heard really enveloped me for the next couple days in my mind.  I was filled with a mixed sense of how blessed my life was and how insignificant my tribulations were, especially because mine had come from activities of pure horseplay and extra curricular joy.

Perspective is always a wonderful thing and in this thought pattern I was struck with it.  The Lord only gives us what we can handle.  And he reminds us just how strong and capable of the challenges placed in front of us through the inspiration of others. 

The reality is I have no business comparing the adversities in my life with those of someone else.  Whether I view someone else's struggles as small and insignificant or monumental, they are the struggles they have to overcome set before them.  The adversity I take on in my life was given to me to shape who I am, same as those others face.  I will be reminded of that by the inspiring stories of others to keep my head down and focus on being the best me that God has blessed me to aspire to.  and I will Pray that my actions will remind others of the same.

Hindsight

I absolutely hated farming growing up.  I had no use for the day in, day out, mind numbing tasks that cursed my life from a normal childhood.  I began to loathe the very animals that I was forced to feed every morning and evening, the fields and crops I were to irrigate and change every 24 hours.  Then there was all the extra work it caused me, various repairs, building of new fences and different structures.  And while my parents were extremely supportive of all extra curricular activities that kept me from work(consequently I was involved in literally every school activity, sport, and organization), all I could think about were the things and travel I missed out on because of the farm anchor.

Of course today I don't miss the chance to boast of my upbringing in the rural environment and what my responsibilities were.  Its amazing the perspective a rear view mirror can create.  The valued assets I inherited because of my upbringing have been invaluable, I mean a solid work ethic is the true key to success these days, the dedication and focus are worth their weight in gold.  And the time I spent hiding in all the various outside activities gave me a well rounded structure that has speared me on to many accomplishments.  Its funny that the curse I grew up with is now the blessing the Lord gave me.  Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and damn proud of it.

I have times when things are missed.  It's not easy as active as I was to give certain things up.  I recently attended a family gathering that was a bit of a struggle.  As we boys tend to wonder off with side projects and activities to occupy are time at these thing, I found myself often left in the house with no real means to get in and out to join the boys club as it were. 
I've always very motivated to be at an above average fit level.  While I plan, skeem, and plot my new fitness regimen there are times when I just want to do the complicated workouts I used to enjoy.  It used to be my escape to simply venture into the gym and get my swell on whenever I saw "fit".  Now there is not much I can do on my own in the training realm and I'm frustrated when I want to workout and I have no available assistant.  I never really crave to walk again, but I do desire to venture on an excruciating foothills run, do some muay tai or bag work, or test my limits at the squat rack or flipping the loader tire. 

It would be very easy to become cynical or extremely depressed with the focus on what I miss.  But like the farm I once loathed that was coal crushed into a diamond, I remind myself that there is a blessing still in disguise.  I have faith I will look back and boast about this period as well, and the new skills and traits I acquired because of it.  Who knows I may enjoy winter chair skiing more than I did the regular way.  Maybe I come up with a new fighting technique or version of jiu jitsu for the chair dependent to enjoy.  Whatever it is God will make sense of it all in time.

  I also take refuge in the fact that I lived full throttle and didn't waste time when I was pre-injury.  I worked hard so that I could play even harder in life that has maybe create a fondness and longing for the past, but definitely no regrets.

I guess the lesson in all of this for me is take heart and solice in life's hurdles.  There is pride and pleasure in the path put before you, because it's the path that shapes you to the great victories and conquests of our futures.

Finding Your Muse

I love inspirational sports movies.  No matter how cheesy, "For Love of the Game", "Warrior", "Miracle", "Goal", there is something about a feel good story that lights a fire inside me to accomplish something and take action now.   "Rocky" and "Invincible" are my personal favorites.  I love the idea of hardship struck with a never say die attitude.  Perseverance with an optimistic motivation and focus conquers.

The other night a close friend shared a YouTube video with me ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K9Gg164Bsw ).  The perspective shared by Stella Young was something she hadn't heard before and wanted my take on it.  I felt passionate enough about it to share my point with everybody.

I see her point, part of it at least.  I agree that to deem somebody an inspiration just because they are struck with a disability is not an accurate conclusion to jump too.  I agree that we have created an illusion that a disability is a bad thing and it makes you exceptional.  It's not a bad thing and it doesn't automatically make you exceptional(however that doesn't mean you can't be exceptional).  We shouldn't automatically patronize anybody as an inspiration for daily life and no true accomplishments.  I agree there probably is several people that are deemed inspirational as a compliment to encourage their progress and an attempt to motivate them, or to create an illusion of inspiration to satisfy their own motivational needs.

This isn't what fired me up though.  It was her take on "the only real disability is a bad attitude".  She thought it was complete crap(I paraphrase to a better word).  Her take was that it objectifies people with disabilities to find them inspirational.  That is what I believe to be a load of crap. 

I was told a story about a man who was to race an Ironman.  The morning of he was waiting to start the race with his swim leg of it when adrenaline took a turn toward his nerves and doubt set in.  He began to panic to his friends how he was not up to the task before him and must pull out.  Until he saw two gentlemen pick up another competitor out of his wheelchair and carry him down to the water to begin the same race he was to compete in. He was suddenly struck with inspiration.  In other words, his attitude shifted. 

As most of you who really know me know that I believe attitude is everything in this world.  It is the single greatest force that pulls us through.  Anybody that suffers hardship,  a disability, financial instability, emotion loss, and pulls through it to succeed above the odds are inspirational.  and those that give up in a pessimistic fashion are disabled into a bad attitude that clasps to there ankle and weights them down to the bottom of the waters of despair. 

The other day I sat in my chair at the bottom of our stairs...I didn't simply smile at them, I decided that one way or another I would drag myself to the top to see the loft in our house for the first time.  My attitude is what pulled me through, if that causes someone else inspiration then God has used me.  If my outlook an attitude despite odds inspires someone else to change their perspective, their attitude, then thank God.  I will do great things, not because I'm disabled, but because of my attitude.  If God has set that path to accomplish those through a disability then so be it.  He has put others in front of me that have inspired me under similar circumstances, Darius Glover, Josh Dueck, Nick Scott, and many others(in fact I keep their YouTube stories in a playlist coincidentally titled Inspire). 

In Matthew 5:1-12 it illustrates the beatitudes, a virtual attitude map to success.   I think attitude is everything, part of having that proper attitude is constantly being inspired.  I pray that God continues to find ways to inspire me and that he uses me to inspire others.  Otherwise we are left with a bad attitude-a true disability.

A New Definition

I remember when we were living in California, Danielle worked for an event production company and they got in a pickle.   They needed someone to load the truck for an event.  I said I would do it as they were having a difficult time finding anyone.  Danielle told me to plan for 3 hours or so as it typically took the two boys who normally did it a couple hours.  By myself, with a little hustle, I did it in an hour.  Just a result of a different mentality, and a little farm boy get-after-it-ness.

Oh how the times have changed.  I know I look forward with a positive outlook and Faith that God will prevail with his plan in all of this, but that doesn't mean I don't have struggles.  I mean even Jesus asked "Why God...?".  It's a definite struggle when you are a person that defined himself as a hard working contributor, a get in and get it done type mentality.  The simpler the task I can't do, the more the frustration.  The bigger things are obvious and people jump in to pick up the slack thankfully. The simple details, things like hanging pictures and what not, are frustrating when I have to ask for help.  I get so tired of struggling with the simplest life functioning tasks.  Sometimes my morning routine takes half a day, just to do what used to be done in 30 minutes to an hour.  Its hard not to get depressed and lack in self worth when things I used to do without even thinking about it are now a challenge to accomplish.  It's difficult to keep your head up at times when you wonder where you will find victory again and your value to contribute to the cause.  I definitely have what I consider "throw in the towel" moments where I just want to go back to bed. 

However, I don't give up easily.  My past success wouldn't have happened if I did, and neither will my future success.  Believe me there will be future success.  I decided the other day I will find a new challenge, I will set a goal, and I will succeed.  Vision is the key to staying focused forward.  I cant wonder aimlessly, I have to pick a spot in the distance and head towards it.  I have to remind myself that this isn't the end point, but simply step 347 in the thousand.  As easy as it is to feel sorry for myself I have to ignore those feelings and tell myself to get up and find the next piece of this puzzle.  I mean it may have taken me an hour, but I still managed to unload and load the dishwasher.  And that's something.  

I will find something to compete in again.  I will get back to the top.  and God will use me along the way, because you never know who is paying attention.  At times I may feel lost in the chaos, but the chaos will slowly diminish.  Its still early in finding the new normal, I have to remember that and be patient.  This is definitely the longest recovery process I have ever been a part of, but that will just make me stronger in the long run I believe.

One of my therapists told me of a shirt he had seen.  It said "God will only challenge us with what we can handle.  If that's the case God must think I'm a BadA@$!"... Amen.