Finish Strong

It's like that movie that you think has climaxed, and the antagonist is at the most difficult position and now they will work their way back to the top.  Suddenly there is a twist and a new challenge presents itself and pushes them even further down. 

That's kind of the way the end of this year has been for myself.  A whole new set of challenges has presented itself.  It seems my hips have decided to be difficult and present some complications.  My left hip that I dislocated and damaged the femoral head has been challenging due to the joint trying to become one solid bone from a large calcium deposit due to immobilization.  Something I have to continually stretch and range my legs to fight as a counteraction.  My right hip has collected fluid due to extreme arthritis(apparently I have been hard on my body is what they tell me).  It rolls like a skate board wheel with a flat spot and can lock up when that spot catches.

I constantly think back to the time I was in the hospital, I had this perception(or delusion, depends on how you look at it) that I would be down for a couple weeks and then promptly begin to return to normal.  Now at almost a year later I find myself frustrated and inpatient at times in my continued recovery process.  I have found that normal isn't as much of a set pattern in routine as much as being adaptable and receptive to what life throws my way. 

I take pride in knowing how far I've come through perseverance and pure stubborn relentlessness.  While I find some discouragement in knowing at only one year post accident my journey has just begun, I take solace in knowing I have been ahead of the curve in my recovery and regaining my strength.  My training habits of old are more important toady then they I have ever been.  I often compare physical difficulties to a 6-8 hour road trip in a car.  That feeling you have when you are finally able to step out of the vehicle and stretch, that stiffness you feel from the lack of mobilization and circulation is my daily struggle.  Its my daily workout that promotes my circulation and combats this challenge.

It shows me the importance in our daily habits and the discipline we build in our lives.  God has given us the ability to prepare ourselves for what ever may come our way in life.   The challenges and adversity we face can be minimized with inner built strength and preparation.  How we live our life reflects how high the mountains are we climb and how low the valleys are we recess in to.

There is a saying " The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation"  I have always lived life by this mantra and it finds me feeling very lucky despite what has happened.  2014  has found me very blessed with many victories.  I look forward to what 2015 will hold and hope the new year finds you with your daily walk and preparation to be "lucky" in life.

The Highs and the Lows...

I really dislike the word "can't".  In fact I don't allow it in our house.  When Joie wants to say "I can't", I have her replace it with the phrase "it's difficult".  Because while we can do it, it can still be difficult. 

I'm finding that most things I do nowadays are difficult.  The simplest task takes so much more effort than it used to.  everything takes so much more time.  Most would think I have the ideal job in my situation, and while there is no doubt I'm blessed to continue work without interruption from my accident... it's still difficult.  The chair hurts, especially just sitting in it.  Truth is I'm usually good for 2-3 hours in the office before my butt is just on fire and my back aches.  Then I typically have to run and errand or two before making it home to find some relief.  I usually just want to lay down to release pressure, but inevitably within 10-15 minutes I fall asleep.  Typically after that I have to get back up and do therapy, or workout.  It's actually very important for my strength to get around and more importantly for my circulation.  If I don't workout I get very tight and my hips, back and shoulders become extremely uncomfortable and painful. 

I guess I'm sharing this because I think sometimes I paint an unrealistic picture about what I go through.  I won't complain, I strive to be positive in all things because it helps me get through.  I want to be that person to look up to by finding the good in all I do.  But I think sometimes it makes my situation look easier than it is, like I recovered and moved on with minimal disruption.  I feel I've made the best of it.  However, it comes at a cost of feeling isolated and alone at times with my struggle because I push to keep it internal.  I feel if I don't talk about it, I won't give it more power.  So I strive to shine light and determination on everything I do.  And while I feel good about the compliments and encouraging words from others, it sometimes makes me feel like an actor, a poster boy that has a behind the scenes story. 

I will continue to be positive, It's the root of my success.  I'm a fighter, and I will always fight.  It's the responsibility I have in what has been given to me.  I just urge you to always keep in mind, just because somebody has that priceless "can do" attitude... doesn't mean it isn't difficult.

Like a Boy Scout...

I grew up in an entrepreneurial household.  Aside from the farm being a family business my father had other small family businesses he had pursued and succeeded with, the truck dealership, A PEO company, a feed mill and compost company to name a few.  Throughout all these family ventures there was always a common theme... hard work and CYB(cover your butt).  In all dealings, in all activities make sure that you've done things right to protect yourself  and know that you are prepared.

I think that is a big part of handling any adversity, making sure you are prepared.  I look as adversity as a training program.  I always tell my athletes "The harder you work today, the easier it will be tomorrow".  The more in life I fight through the challenges and adversity, the easier it is to overcome and fight through the next adversity.  It becomes a life long training program really. 

I also believe that the lord prepares us for the challenges that will come later with the obstacles we face today.  It's definitely a thread I can see play out in my life now.  When I raced motocross professionally I was careful to be real with myself and stay grounded, my natural abilities were not strong.  I knew I wasn't going to be one of the fast guys on the track, so to make up for that I worked hard to make sure I was in better shape to do my best to outlast the speed of others.  I may not have been the fastest, but I was always one of the strongest, both physically and mentally.  Overcoming this challenge in my racing career is what led to my opportunities as a trainer.

My training program continued to develop throughout the years and I was always pushing myself and my body.  Danielle has always given me a hard time because I was constantly complaining of being sore.  The stronger I got, the harder I would push to bring the pain.   I slowly conditioned myself to experiencing fatigued muscles as just a part of life. 

Little did I know the big guy was preparing me.  Since my accident my back, my hips, my legs constantly hurt.  Some days are better than others, but I have accepted a certain level of constant aching that will always be there.  It's something I will live with, but because of the mental and physical conditioning of my past it's something I can live with.  I guess I'm lucky.

Course I only feel that way based on my definition of lucky.  Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.  Opportunity is a common, optimistic word to use as a replacement for problem.  I have handled this opportunity because I was prepared. 

I encourage all to look at adversity and challenges in life as way to prepare yourself for the next opportunity.  The perspective will not only make challenges easier to face... you also might find it just may change your future luck.

The Ripple Effect

Most of us have seen or heard of the movie "The Butterfly Effect", based on the premise that it would be nice to go back in time and change certain things.  However, actually doing so could have grave consequences on how things in are life can be effected, and the outcome can be worse than what we originally experienced.  The part in this plot I thought to be the most interesting wasn't how it effected the outcome of the lead characters future, but how small changes in his past greatly changed the future of everybody else close to him in his life. 

There is no doubt or surprise to how much life has taken a turn down a serious different interstate for me.  This isn't exactly something you plan for, but not much that happens in our lives is planned for.  It isn't so much what happens to us in our lives, but how we react to what happens that has the most meaning and power in our future experiences.  There is no doubt there are several things I miss taking part in; just going for a run, going on foothill hikes, ridin my dirtbike just for starters  Camping is a different experience I still enjoy but I'm adjusting to now in a more comfortable manner, not really "rough'in it any more.  I would love to just jump up and be able to go to the bathroom real quick in the middle of the night when there is a need!  And yet, because my life has been forced to change there are things I am able to see an experience in a different light.  I have been forced to hand off more tasks and responsibilities at work, and because of that there are things I enjoy being  part of that I wouldn't have taken the time to do before, like taking the time to pick my daughter up from school and hearing about the adventures of her day.  Sometimes a forced slow down from the rat race can be a blessing if you look at it the right way, and listen to what life(or the Lord) is telling you.

Yeah....big changes.
Consider though remembering the nuisance's of the movie?  I just described  how it has changed my life, which is what tends to be right out in front and obvious.  The real difficulty is the impact it has had on everybody else around me.  How it will shape and impact Joie's life because of things we have gone through.  My daughter has done a lot of growing up this year, ready or not.  And like I touched upon before, how it has effected our staff in our office.  It has been career changing for some, and I have seen growth and acceleration in others beyond all expectations.  While they have done an outstanding job, its not a load they signed up for, but have accepted.  Despite still being overwhelming and daunting at times.

Then there is my wife, who has had to step up and shoulder more responsibility than anybody.  Who has had to muster more strength and courage than all others with no choice in the matter.  Well, actually she didn't have to, she could have chosen not to, but she has.  It has been harder than anybody has seen or can imagine on her.  I thank God everyday he chose her to be my partner on this transition!  As accepting as I have been of this life change there are still times  I wish I could go back and change it for her and them more than anything. 

Or do I?  Maybe the alternate path taken could have turned out so much worse in ways I don't see or imagine.  I have to remember that God has a plan, for all of us.   I have to remember that the path we take or are forced onto isn't just for a reason(you know, everything happens for a reason), but a destiny. If we are wise and  listen to his guidance along the detours we are delt, then that destiny will be filled with so many blessings. 

Oh, and in your consideration for others you care for and the hardships they face... remember to care and be there for those around them whom equally face their own challenges.

Is your filter clogged?

I watch a lot of sports news, I listen to a lot of sports radio.  Partly because I really love sports.  But mostly because unlike the regular news, which I never pay attention to, its mostly positive.  Yes there are times when there is content toward the negative side, but for the most part sports media is about what some did outstanding or what they achieved against the opposition.  It constantly reminds me of what we are capable of with the right attitude and if we push ourselves.

That's difficult for anybody though if your living on the wrong side of the Law of Attraction.  Its no new revelation that we are all influenced by what we surround ourselves with, that we can create our own negative or positive subliminal messaging with our environment. I think a large part of my handling the accident in such a strong way is the company I keep.  Having those that remind me of my faith, and point out the strengths in my life has been a true blessing.  Of course I could have just as easily surrounded my self with a pity parting and gone into self loathing if I had chosen too.  The key word being choice.

  I also believe if I choose to put a smile on my face, and choose to look at what I can accomplish instead of what is a struggle I help create that positive environment.  I don't know too many people that can get smiled at and reciprocate with a scowl.  It begins with us and what we choose to project, then our message is enforced with the company we keep.  I know there are times when you just get stuck with Eeyore.   But that's when we have to steup up and be the Tigger.  That's also when I use my filter.  We all have selective hearing, it's just a manner of how we use it and what we choose to absorb and reflect.  I literally just choose to tune out when somebody goes negative on me, it does me no good to internalize it.

Don't get me wrong I don't think we have to live in fantasy land.  I still think we can be real.  In fact I think Iam very real.  I also think there is a lot of good that can come out of struggles and adversity.  Purely in the common focal points of adversity making us stronger, the lesson's we learn from struggles, and how they can shape us as an individual.  Life isn't always meant to be easy, to be honest if it was it would be pretty boring. Without sour, sweet wouldn't be sweet. 

I thinks that's why I have decided to start a side career doing motivational speaking, to focus on my Law of Attraction.  With the struggles I now face I need to remind myself the blessings that can come of it.  I can use this mission to hold myself accountable and hopefully help some others remodel there circle of influence along the way.   With God's help I can have an impact on shaping the future outlook of others....as well as my own.

Shoes to Fill

I had the Fortunate privilege recently to enjoy a much needed vacation on Farmers Insurance dime, thanks to some hard work from myself, Christie, and other staff in our office.  We headed to San Antonio with quite a bit of nervousness.  I wasn't really sure how things might work out being our first big trip.  After all I had taken a small road trip to Vancouver, Washington to see family for a weekend and it hadn't gone so well.  So while we were excited to get away, we were very anxious on how things might work out.  But what I didn't expect was the life changing experience this trip might hold for me(as if I didn't have enough of that going on lately already).

Being a business trip there were several conventions and sessions Farmers puts on along with all the fun.  One of the sessions featured guest speaker Marcus Lutrell(the Lone Survivor from Seal Team 10).  I was immediately moved as he shared his story, including the background of his upbringing and training, honoring the memory of his comrades with the details of there mission.  He spoke in a manner that came off unrehearsed, from the heart, and almost as if he was in some instances reliving his experience. 

Suddenly I felt an unusual calm uncertainty inside that left a flat feeling in my stomach.  The challenges that I had faced up to this point felt like nothing but a simple drop in the bucket.  The monumental hill I had felt like I was recently climbing turned before my eyes into a mole hill.  I was absolutely left speechless inside my own head with what a man can endure as he described the events his teammates and himself endured on their mission.  The impact of what I had heard really enveloped me for the next couple days in my mind.  I was filled with a mixed sense of how blessed my life was and how insignificant my tribulations were, especially because mine had come from activities of pure horseplay and extra curricular joy.

Perspective is always a wonderful thing and in this thought pattern I was struck with it.  The Lord only gives us what we can handle.  And he reminds us just how strong and capable of the challenges placed in front of us through the inspiration of others. 

The reality is I have no business comparing the adversities in my life with those of someone else.  Whether I view someone else's struggles as small and insignificant or monumental, they are the struggles they have to overcome set before them.  The adversity I take on in my life was given to me to shape who I am, same as those others face.  I will be reminded of that by the inspiring stories of others to keep my head down and focus on being the best me that God has blessed me to aspire to.  and I will Pray that my actions will remind others of the same.

Hindsight

I absolutely hated farming growing up.  I had no use for the day in, day out, mind numbing tasks that cursed my life from a normal childhood.  I began to loathe the very animals that I was forced to feed every morning and evening, the fields and crops I were to irrigate and change every 24 hours.  Then there was all the extra work it caused me, various repairs, building of new fences and different structures.  And while my parents were extremely supportive of all extra curricular activities that kept me from work(consequently I was involved in literally every school activity, sport, and organization), all I could think about were the things and travel I missed out on because of the farm anchor.

Of course today I don't miss the chance to boast of my upbringing in the rural environment and what my responsibilities were.  Its amazing the perspective a rear view mirror can create.  The valued assets I inherited because of my upbringing have been invaluable, I mean a solid work ethic is the true key to success these days, the dedication and focus are worth their weight in gold.  And the time I spent hiding in all the various outside activities gave me a well rounded structure that has speared me on to many accomplishments.  Its funny that the curse I grew up with is now the blessing the Lord gave me.  Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and damn proud of it.

I have times when things are missed.  It's not easy as active as I was to give certain things up.  I recently attended a family gathering that was a bit of a struggle.  As we boys tend to wonder off with side projects and activities to occupy are time at these thing, I found myself often left in the house with no real means to get in and out to join the boys club as it were. 
I've always very motivated to be at an above average fit level.  While I plan, skeem, and plot my new fitness regimen there are times when I just want to do the complicated workouts I used to enjoy.  It used to be my escape to simply venture into the gym and get my swell on whenever I saw "fit".  Now there is not much I can do on my own in the training realm and I'm frustrated when I want to workout and I have no available assistant.  I never really crave to walk again, but I do desire to venture on an excruciating foothills run, do some muay tai or bag work, or test my limits at the squat rack or flipping the loader tire. 

It would be very easy to become cynical or extremely depressed with the focus on what I miss.  But like the farm I once loathed that was coal crushed into a diamond, I remind myself that there is a blessing still in disguise.  I have faith I will look back and boast about this period as well, and the new skills and traits I acquired because of it.  Who knows I may enjoy winter chair skiing more than I did the regular way.  Maybe I come up with a new fighting technique or version of jiu jitsu for the chair dependent to enjoy.  Whatever it is God will make sense of it all in time.

  I also take refuge in the fact that I lived full throttle and didn't waste time when I was pre-injury.  I worked hard so that I could play even harder in life that has maybe create a fondness and longing for the past, but definitely no regrets.

I guess the lesson in all of this for me is take heart and solice in life's hurdles.  There is pride and pleasure in the path put before you, because it's the path that shapes you to the great victories and conquests of our futures.