If you have any ambition in life your somewhat of a goal setter. Whether or not we accomplish those goals can be another story, but no the less we all tend to look forward toward something. I believe a great deal of success towards goals comes from keeping our eyes on the prize. We cannot suffer from "Goal ADHD". Distractions will derail you and kill all hopes of success and achievement. I know that's bluntly stating the obvious, but the real trick is to stay focused and to identify the distractions. Sometimes we don't always see them or know where they are coming from. We can simply drift off course slightly and then be sucked into the weeds, or it can be an outside force that comes from another direction blindsiding us and changing the direction of our focus.
Time since "the chair" has certainly come with it's ups and downs, it's time of hardship and times of achievement. Throughout it all I have tried to maintain one thought....one focus. God has a plan, and he will use it. This was hugely reinvigorated when I recently caught the Rich Froning documentary on Itunes(I would highly recommend checking it out). The main goal I have wanted through all of this(the accident) is for God to shine through in me.
Should be simple right? Satan is no slacker. He doesn't pull his punches and will take any opportunity to distract us. Lately I have felt a bit frustrated, it has began with the changing of the weather and an old passion stirring in me. This is the time of year to ride... cooler weather and precipitation lead to moisture in some of my favorite riding areas. Oh the days I would head to Paradise with some of my close riding buddies(so properly named...). It's left me a bit longing for the days, which in turn has stirred up some resentment for the chair. This left me drifting off course a bit, and before long I was in the weeds. My frustration carried and escalated into other areas involving the chair(which is pretty much everything). I really began to be disheartened with activities I'm unable to do on my own. How I would love to go to the gym and just do the same workout with everybody else. Instead of feeling like a burden to the coaches with special requests and additional attention. I really started to feel like my mission was unsuccessful, and my goal wasn't being met. How could I stand for God when I commanded so much personal attention? Why do I have to be such a pain to everybody, and why can't I do it all on my own? I have felt discouraged and dismayed that God wasn't coming through my efforts, that I wasn't standing more on my own for him.
Then it hit me(or God may have "slapped" me). We have been studying Daniel in church and what an amazing pillar he was the way he allowed God to use him. Pastor love recently did a message on Daniel and the lion's den(see Daniel 6 for more details). I was brought back to focus. I haven't looked to God enough for help. The problem is I've made it about me and tried to do it on my own. I was distracted focusing on MY efforts, MY perceptions, MY needs. I need to focus on others efforts and the willingness of others to be there for me, and humble enough to let them graciously. I need to personally pray more and allow God to keep me focused.
We recently did quite a few Hero WODs this past week with Veterans day. The common theme during these workouts were to focus on not your own efforts or struggles, but to reflect on the struggles and efforts that those endure to serve and protect us. It's a perspective changer. In the same way I need to do this with all my workouts. I want to do the same. In the same way we started these Hero WODs with a moment of silence and reflection, I will now start my workouts with prayer. I need to focus on God and the blessings he's given me, the strength, the drive, the spirit to push forward, and the support of those he has put around me. As far as God shining through me.... he'll take care of the rest. He will keep me focused.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Sacrifice
It's so interesting sometimes how we get set in our ways. We have our routines and comforts and feel like any shake up of those will completely destroy our world and how we function.
I remember when Danielle and I first got married and were living in condo in California that we didn't have a microwave. We didn't own one at the time and decided just to do without for awhile. The perception was that this would be a major inconvenience and we would eventually have to buy one. However what we really found is the way we adapted and cooking things in other ways became the norm. We accepted the fact that certain things were going to take longer to cook and it didn't bother us because those were our new expectations. In fact to this day we have yet to buy a microwave. We have one because it was in our house when we bought it, but if something happened to it I doubt that we would spend the money to replace it. After going without for a year back then we know that we can survive just fine without one.
It's funny though how we cling to "things" and think we can't survive without. And yet, despite the lack of use of something as major as my legs.... I seem to function just fine. My expectations have changed and I so with it. Oh sure somethings are definitely more difficult and take longer, but I've grown patience for it and I'm okay with it, it's just the new norm. I'm not gonna say that I don't have frustrating moments trying to figure out how to do tasks at times, but that's allowed me to get creative on new ways to get things done(just ask my daughter on how the two of us tag team laundry cause neither of us our capable by ourselves right now).
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "To different minds, the same world is hell, and a heaven" It may seem like hell to not have a cell phone and lose that communication with the world. Although it could be Heaven to enjoy the peace and quiet with the distraction.
I recently decided to do a fast with my Wife. I find that the best way to get deeper connected with God is to go without something in my life, every time I think(in this case food) about that thing I go to prayer and it puts me more focused on God. While it was with those intentions I started I also asked God for wisdom on my future eating habits. I thought it would be hard to give up the foods I wanted, I thought it would be "hell" to not have what I thought I needed. What I have discovered is a new "Heaven". Being in the wheelchair plays havoc on my digestive system and the ability for it to work, which in turn creates other issues. The cleaner eating has taken care of some of those issues and the simplification has brought a peace to my body in areas.
It has made me think about my "loyalties", and the things I perceive to be able to not live without. The gift and beauty of our human bodiesand spirit is we our very adaptable and what we treasure valuable may just be a curse.
I remember when Danielle and I first got married and were living in condo in California that we didn't have a microwave. We didn't own one at the time and decided just to do without for awhile. The perception was that this would be a major inconvenience and we would eventually have to buy one. However what we really found is the way we adapted and cooking things in other ways became the norm. We accepted the fact that certain things were going to take longer to cook and it didn't bother us because those were our new expectations. In fact to this day we have yet to buy a microwave. We have one because it was in our house when we bought it, but if something happened to it I doubt that we would spend the money to replace it. After going without for a year back then we know that we can survive just fine without one.
It's funny though how we cling to "things" and think we can't survive without. And yet, despite the lack of use of something as major as my legs.... I seem to function just fine. My expectations have changed and I so with it. Oh sure somethings are definitely more difficult and take longer, but I've grown patience for it and I'm okay with it, it's just the new norm. I'm not gonna say that I don't have frustrating moments trying to figure out how to do tasks at times, but that's allowed me to get creative on new ways to get things done(just ask my daughter on how the two of us tag team laundry cause neither of us our capable by ourselves right now).
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "To different minds, the same world is hell, and a heaven" It may seem like hell to not have a cell phone and lose that communication with the world. Although it could be Heaven to enjoy the peace and quiet with the distraction.
I recently decided to do a fast with my Wife. I find that the best way to get deeper connected with God is to go without something in my life, every time I think(in this case food) about that thing I go to prayer and it puts me more focused on God. While it was with those intentions I started I also asked God for wisdom on my future eating habits. I thought it would be hard to give up the foods I wanted, I thought it would be "hell" to not have what I thought I needed. What I have discovered is a new "Heaven". Being in the wheelchair plays havoc on my digestive system and the ability for it to work, which in turn creates other issues. The cleaner eating has taken care of some of those issues and the simplification has brought a peace to my body in areas.
It has made me think about my "loyalties", and the things I perceive to be able to not live without. The gift and beauty of our human bodiesand spirit is we our very adaptable and what we treasure valuable may just be a curse.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Behind the Scenes
I recently completed the competition of the Adaptive CrossFit Open. I felt very accomplished and learned so much about my fitness program. As I wrote in the last blog post it has reignited a passion in me that has refueled my competitive efforts. The relationships I have begun to build have been incredible as well. The CrossFit community has been wonderfully supportive and full of great individuals. It truly is a family in itself and has a community support that compares to the tightness of the Motocross community I have been a part of for so long(although I have no intentions of abandoning my MX family, props to my peeps!).
I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have been told several times of the way my actions have helped and inspired others. It is my hope to help grow the adaptive CrossFit community in the treasure Valley and hopefully the NW.
I think sometimes though people don't see the whole journey, and so like Mr. Harvey it is my intention to share the rest of the story. I feel like sometimes people see what I push myself to do in my workouts and have this perspective of me achieving something that would make my lifestyle at home simple in comparison. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
While the added strength does make some things easier in maneuverability there are still many daily struggles. For one, while I'm grateful and extremely blessed to have the career I do, especially in my current state, sometimes one of the toughest things is sitting behind my desk. It's comparable to a long car ride and the stiffness one feels at the end, sometimes I just ache. that's actually one of the critical components to my workouts, the increase in circulation and range of motion. It doesn't come without it's own added adversity though, with the lack of control in bowels and bladder it can create and added challenge I have to watch out for. I always have reservation in the back of my head when I give that added effort to complete that last pull-up or get that extra weight on the overhead press. That same exertion can often cause me to pee at the same time with the inability to separate the two.
The most frustrating hurdle I face is what I refer to as "the wall". Mostly because I don't fade into it, but go from 60-0mph as I completely face it at times in my life. It used to be I had a normal sense of managing my energy levels. I could feel fatigue come on and my battery would slowly diminish throughout the day and my efforts so that I could properly monitor my rest and activity windows to make sure I was properly recovering. Now, I don't know if it's just me or many paraplegics have the same issue, but I don't feel fatigue come on slowly. I can be running along(or rolling) fine and out of nowhere I will drop anchor. The ole body will literally just shut down, I will loose function, have no strength and have an incredibly difficult time maneuvering. Most times I have to concede myself to bed for about 24 hours to recover. If I ran myself into the ground enough, I also loose the ability to temperature regulate. I've gotten bad enough where I get the shivers for hours, regardless of the amount o bedding I pile on, and then suddenly without warning break into a drenching sweat. It makes me feel lazy and worthless at times to not hold true to my commitments when it happens because of the state of incapacitation I'm left in.
I think sometimes my new feats also creates a false perspective in my independence as well. I was reminded of a visual technique I used to use before I would go riding. I would often stand in the garage and dress myself for riding in my mind as a way to make sure that I wasn't forgetting anything. Socks, knee braces...check, pants, boots...oh, I forgot boots, and so forth. I often do the same thing now before transferring out of my chair. I run through a checklist to make sure I have everything I need when getting on my mat table to get dressed or when settling into bed for the evening. When I'm in bed or on my mat table and realize I HAVE forgotten something it quickly becomes a struggle between my independence and taking the time to get back into my chair and getting it myself. Do I simply bother Danielle or Joie to take a few seconds to interrupt their tasks and quickly grab what it is I need for me and do it in a 1/4 of the time. Or do I go through the energy draining, time consuming task of re-shifting my stuff out of the way, transferring back into my chair, taking the 20 seconds to grab what I need, roll back to the platform, transfer back out of my chair and proceed to start all over again with my task. Sure, I did it myself, but at what cost? There's also the guilt of knowing the added burden I put on both Joie and Danielle when I do ask them, knowing they have daily increased responsibilities already with my lack of assistance around the house. It's a constant daily grind.
While there has been some added attention and praise for my recent workout efforts, and the enjoyment of knowing and being told I have had inspirational moments for others to put their adversities in perspective, I would gladly trade it for an opportunity to be normal again in my daily routine like that(snapping fingers). And yet that's just not in the cards right now so there's no use in dwelling, but just a focus to strive to keep my head up, paint on the brave front and a contagious smile. While I wanted to share a glimpse into my battles, both physically and mentally, I don't look for sympathy, but simply a purer understanding of the back layers of difficulty a struggle can bring to someone. I know God has a plan and I will continue to look towards him and follow it. In the mean time, be grateful for those in your life and the help they give. Those that do there best to make your life easier with extra burden in theirs. Soak in the positive reinforcement others bring your way, and convert it to fuel your own determination to press on. Most importantly, I've said it before and will say it again, God is strong and brings me strength. We will see you at the box!
I feel really good about what I'm doing. I have been told several times of the way my actions have helped and inspired others. It is my hope to help grow the adaptive CrossFit community in the treasure Valley and hopefully the NW.
I think sometimes though people don't see the whole journey, and so like Mr. Harvey it is my intention to share the rest of the story. I feel like sometimes people see what I push myself to do in my workouts and have this perspective of me achieving something that would make my lifestyle at home simple in comparison. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.
While the added strength does make some things easier in maneuverability there are still many daily struggles. For one, while I'm grateful and extremely blessed to have the career I do, especially in my current state, sometimes one of the toughest things is sitting behind my desk. It's comparable to a long car ride and the stiffness one feels at the end, sometimes I just ache. that's actually one of the critical components to my workouts, the increase in circulation and range of motion. It doesn't come without it's own added adversity though, with the lack of control in bowels and bladder it can create and added challenge I have to watch out for. I always have reservation in the back of my head when I give that added effort to complete that last pull-up or get that extra weight on the overhead press. That same exertion can often cause me to pee at the same time with the inability to separate the two.
The most frustrating hurdle I face is what I refer to as "the wall". Mostly because I don't fade into it, but go from 60-0mph as I completely face it at times in my life. It used to be I had a normal sense of managing my energy levels. I could feel fatigue come on and my battery would slowly diminish throughout the day and my efforts so that I could properly monitor my rest and activity windows to make sure I was properly recovering. Now, I don't know if it's just me or many paraplegics have the same issue, but I don't feel fatigue come on slowly. I can be running along(or rolling) fine and out of nowhere I will drop anchor. The ole body will literally just shut down, I will loose function, have no strength and have an incredibly difficult time maneuvering. Most times I have to concede myself to bed for about 24 hours to recover. If I ran myself into the ground enough, I also loose the ability to temperature regulate. I've gotten bad enough where I get the shivers for hours, regardless of the amount o bedding I pile on, and then suddenly without warning break into a drenching sweat. It makes me feel lazy and worthless at times to not hold true to my commitments when it happens because of the state of incapacitation I'm left in.
I think sometimes my new feats also creates a false perspective in my independence as well. I was reminded of a visual technique I used to use before I would go riding. I would often stand in the garage and dress myself for riding in my mind as a way to make sure that I wasn't forgetting anything. Socks, knee braces...check, pants, boots...oh, I forgot boots, and so forth. I often do the same thing now before transferring out of my chair. I run through a checklist to make sure I have everything I need when getting on my mat table to get dressed or when settling into bed for the evening. When I'm in bed or on my mat table and realize I HAVE forgotten something it quickly becomes a struggle between my independence and taking the time to get back into my chair and getting it myself. Do I simply bother Danielle or Joie to take a few seconds to interrupt their tasks and quickly grab what it is I need for me and do it in a 1/4 of the time. Or do I go through the energy draining, time consuming task of re-shifting my stuff out of the way, transferring back into my chair, taking the 20 seconds to grab what I need, roll back to the platform, transfer back out of my chair and proceed to start all over again with my task. Sure, I did it myself, but at what cost? There's also the guilt of knowing the added burden I put on both Joie and Danielle when I do ask them, knowing they have daily increased responsibilities already with my lack of assistance around the house. It's a constant daily grind.
While there has been some added attention and praise for my recent workout efforts, and the enjoyment of knowing and being told I have had inspirational moments for others to put their adversities in perspective, I would gladly trade it for an opportunity to be normal again in my daily routine like that(snapping fingers). And yet that's just not in the cards right now so there's no use in dwelling, but just a focus to strive to keep my head up, paint on the brave front and a contagious smile. While I wanted to share a glimpse into my battles, both physically and mentally, I don't look for sympathy, but simply a purer understanding of the back layers of difficulty a struggle can bring to someone. I know God has a plan and I will continue to look towards him and follow it. In the mean time, be grateful for those in your life and the help they give. Those that do there best to make your life easier with extra burden in theirs. Soak in the positive reinforcement others bring your way, and convert it to fuel your own determination to press on. Most importantly, I've said it before and will say it again, God is strong and brings me strength. We will see you at the box!
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Refueled
I am competitive... incredibly competitive... ridiculously Competitive! I'm that guy playing board games. I turn things into a competition that aren't meant to be. I'm the guy that competes with himself. I'm competitive about my job, I always wanna be one of the best agents with Farmers. I just compete, plain and simple.
When I got hurt it became a competition, especially when the realization hit me on how badly I was hurt. I pushed to see how quickly I could get out of the hospital, I wanted to master tasks and build strength as quickly as possible. I would go to the therapy room when I was in the hospital and do extra workouts to push as much as I could. I played wheel chair rugby(A.K.A. Murder Ball, great name) just 4 months after my accident and only 1 month removed fro staying at the hospital. I have to be challenged to have drive, and competition is my fuel.
There has been a sort of emptiness without motocross in my life. I mean, on so many levels I'm okay with it. Mostly because I know God always has a purpose and a plan. I trust that, but it doesn't make it easy. I miss that carrot in my life, that drive to push myself to be better at something. to win races, and frankly just battle with someone(shout out to the Vet crew! I miss lining up with you boys!).
After my injury I knew that my success in staying positive and not dwelling on my injury was to find something quickly to replace Motocross with as quickly as I could. At first just the recovery was enough to drive me. Then I quickly looked at options and thought what made the most sense was mountain biking(very similar to dirtbikes). So I have been striving to get one, but they are not cheap, especially with the mountain of Med bills and all that. So it's something I still look towards in my future and have a desire to get into, hopefully sooner than later, but it will take a little time.
In the mean time God has unexpectantly opened another door for me. I've had the blessing to get to know a few individuals through a sponsor Red Rush and old friend from my training days over at Concept2 rowers that have united me with the Crossfit world. Given my training background I've always been a neighbor to Crossfit, but never actually connected to it. I have gotten to know some individuals that have opened the world to me and the process of competing from a wheel chair.
The drive is back. The fuel that once burned inside has been restoked, and as I ready myself for the Adaptive Crossfit Open and the camaraderie I begin to build with other athletes around the world I can't help but think about this as a gift from God I never expected. I look forward to being part of a movement to grow this sport locally at the adaptive level and bring competition back into others lives. Huh? He truly works in mysterious ways...
When I got hurt it became a competition, especially when the realization hit me on how badly I was hurt. I pushed to see how quickly I could get out of the hospital, I wanted to master tasks and build strength as quickly as possible. I would go to the therapy room when I was in the hospital and do extra workouts to push as much as I could. I played wheel chair rugby(A.K.A. Murder Ball, great name) just 4 months after my accident and only 1 month removed fro staying at the hospital. I have to be challenged to have drive, and competition is my fuel.
There has been a sort of emptiness without motocross in my life. I mean, on so many levels I'm okay with it. Mostly because I know God always has a purpose and a plan. I trust that, but it doesn't make it easy. I miss that carrot in my life, that drive to push myself to be better at something. to win races, and frankly just battle with someone(shout out to the Vet crew! I miss lining up with you boys!).
After my injury I knew that my success in staying positive and not dwelling on my injury was to find something quickly to replace Motocross with as quickly as I could. At first just the recovery was enough to drive me. Then I quickly looked at options and thought what made the most sense was mountain biking(very similar to dirtbikes). So I have been striving to get one, but they are not cheap, especially with the mountain of Med bills and all that. So it's something I still look towards in my future and have a desire to get into, hopefully sooner than later, but it will take a little time.
In the mean time God has unexpectantly opened another door for me. I've had the blessing to get to know a few individuals through a sponsor Red Rush and old friend from my training days over at Concept2 rowers that have united me with the Crossfit world. Given my training background I've always been a neighbor to Crossfit, but never actually connected to it. I have gotten to know some individuals that have opened the world to me and the process of competing from a wheel chair.
The drive is back. The fuel that once burned inside has been restoked, and as I ready myself for the Adaptive Crossfit Open and the camaraderie I begin to build with other athletes around the world I can't help but think about this as a gift from God I never expected. I look forward to being part of a movement to grow this sport locally at the adaptive level and bring competition back into others lives. Huh? He truly works in mysterious ways...
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Personal Connections
I grew up a Seahawks Fan living most of my life in the wet, dreary area of Battle Ground, Washington(not that for a long time I've really bragged about being a Hawk fan). I can remember watching games with my uncles growing up, who were huge, die hard, Seattle fans. I remember attending my first game in person, that allowed me to get to know my Aunt's new husband better. We ventured to the Kingdom where we allowed to watch them play Joe Montana and the Kansas City Chiefs(Course the hawks lost 16-32). I was able to get my first Hawks hat.
Last year my passion for the Seahawks was deepened greatly, with my accident happening exactly one week before the Super bowl I was still a resident of St. Als at the time just a few days removed from ICU. In arguably one of the darkest times of my life, the super bowl served as a bright spot for me. I was a bit nervous though with the Seahawks performance in their first big game(Or the Refs performance I should say). My brother and father brought in a 50" TV to my hospital room so we could watch the game in HD and all it's glory.
While the Super bowl seemed a disappointment to most being such a blowout, it served as a silver lining to my grey cloud. A bright spot that in a time of tragedy created a sub-conscious bright spot that deepened my love for the Hawks. It gave me a inside perspective if you will to those that request time with teams and athletes through Make a Wish. It allows them to create an experience that puts a smile on there face and shine a light during a dark time.
Tomorrow serves as the anniversary date for my accident. It's funny, I was reflecting today on how the weather this year compared to last is very reflective to where I was and where I am now. I feel more accomplished through the path the Lord has led me this last year than I have through any other time in my life. I have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to learn what I'm really made of.
There is no other time to learn your true character, your true friends, and what kind of seeds you have sown, but when you are at your lowest.
Experience; the best description of this last year. The closeness I have enriched with my family, the relationships that have deepened with friends, the drive and determination I have learned I possess, the unlimited possibilities and power I have witnessed that God will use when allowed... my greatest experience.
In regards to my reflection on the Super bowl, players and fans talk about games like the Super bowl as an unbelievable experience. But I will argue that the greatest and most unbelievable experience we can be a part of is that of us allowing God's plan and will to guide our lives. It will bring the unexpected and be an experience like you could never imagine.
With it's proximity in date, the Super Bowl will always serve as a reminder of this for me... Go Hawks!!
Last year my passion for the Seahawks was deepened greatly, with my accident happening exactly one week before the Super bowl I was still a resident of St. Als at the time just a few days removed from ICU. In arguably one of the darkest times of my life, the super bowl served as a bright spot for me. I was a bit nervous though with the Seahawks performance in their first big game(Or the Refs performance I should say). My brother and father brought in a 50" TV to my hospital room so we could watch the game in HD and all it's glory.
While the Super bowl seemed a disappointment to most being such a blowout, it served as a silver lining to my grey cloud. A bright spot that in a time of tragedy created a sub-conscious bright spot that deepened my love for the Hawks. It gave me a inside perspective if you will to those that request time with teams and athletes through Make a Wish. It allows them to create an experience that puts a smile on there face and shine a light during a dark time.
Tomorrow serves as the anniversary date for my accident. It's funny, I was reflecting today on how the weather this year compared to last is very reflective to where I was and where I am now. I feel more accomplished through the path the Lord has led me this last year than I have through any other time in my life. I have been truly blessed to have the opportunity to learn what I'm really made of.
There is no other time to learn your true character, your true friends, and what kind of seeds you have sown, but when you are at your lowest.
Experience; the best description of this last year. The closeness I have enriched with my family, the relationships that have deepened with friends, the drive and determination I have learned I possess, the unlimited possibilities and power I have witnessed that God will use when allowed... my greatest experience.
In regards to my reflection on the Super bowl, players and fans talk about games like the Super bowl as an unbelievable experience. But I will argue that the greatest and most unbelievable experience we can be a part of is that of us allowing God's plan and will to guide our lives. It will bring the unexpected and be an experience like you could never imagine.
With it's proximity in date, the Super Bowl will always serve as a reminder of this for me... Go Hawks!!
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Finish Strong
It's like that movie that you think has climaxed, and the antagonist is at the most difficult position and now they will work their way back to the top. Suddenly there is a twist and a new challenge presents itself and pushes them even further down.
That's kind of the way the end of this year has been for myself. A whole new set of challenges has presented itself. It seems my hips have decided to be difficult and present some complications. My left hip that I dislocated and damaged the femoral head has been challenging due to the joint trying to become one solid bone from a large calcium deposit due to immobilization. Something I have to continually stretch and range my legs to fight as a counteraction. My right hip has collected fluid due to extreme arthritis(apparently I have been hard on my body is what they tell me). It rolls like a skate board wheel with a flat spot and can lock up when that spot catches.
I constantly think back to the time I was in the hospital, I had this perception(or delusion, depends on how you look at it) that I would be down for a couple weeks and then promptly begin to return to normal. Now at almost a year later I find myself frustrated and inpatient at times in my continued recovery process. I have found that normal isn't as much of a set pattern in routine as much as being adaptable and receptive to what life throws my way.
I take pride in knowing how far I've come through perseverance and pure stubborn relentlessness. While I find some discouragement in knowing at only one year post accident my journey has just begun, I take solace in knowing I have been ahead of the curve in my recovery and regaining my strength. My training habits of old are more important toady then they I have ever been. I often compare physical difficulties to a 6-8 hour road trip in a car. That feeling you have when you are finally able to step out of the vehicle and stretch, that stiffness you feel from the lack of mobilization and circulation is my daily struggle. Its my daily workout that promotes my circulation and combats this challenge.
It shows me the importance in our daily habits and the discipline we build in our lives. God has given us the ability to prepare ourselves for what ever may come our way in life. The challenges and adversity we face can be minimized with inner built strength and preparation. How we live our life reflects how high the mountains are we climb and how low the valleys are we recess in to.
There is a saying " The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation" I have always lived life by this mantra and it finds me feeling very lucky despite what has happened. 2014 has found me very blessed with many victories. I look forward to what 2015 will hold and hope the new year finds you with your daily walk and preparation to be "lucky" in life.
That's kind of the way the end of this year has been for myself. A whole new set of challenges has presented itself. It seems my hips have decided to be difficult and present some complications. My left hip that I dislocated and damaged the femoral head has been challenging due to the joint trying to become one solid bone from a large calcium deposit due to immobilization. Something I have to continually stretch and range my legs to fight as a counteraction. My right hip has collected fluid due to extreme arthritis(apparently I have been hard on my body is what they tell me). It rolls like a skate board wheel with a flat spot and can lock up when that spot catches.
I constantly think back to the time I was in the hospital, I had this perception(or delusion, depends on how you look at it) that I would be down for a couple weeks and then promptly begin to return to normal. Now at almost a year later I find myself frustrated and inpatient at times in my continued recovery process. I have found that normal isn't as much of a set pattern in routine as much as being adaptable and receptive to what life throws my way.
I take pride in knowing how far I've come through perseverance and pure stubborn relentlessness. While I find some discouragement in knowing at only one year post accident my journey has just begun, I take solace in knowing I have been ahead of the curve in my recovery and regaining my strength. My training habits of old are more important toady then they I have ever been. I often compare physical difficulties to a 6-8 hour road trip in a car. That feeling you have when you are finally able to step out of the vehicle and stretch, that stiffness you feel from the lack of mobilization and circulation is my daily struggle. Its my daily workout that promotes my circulation and combats this challenge.
It shows me the importance in our daily habits and the discipline we build in our lives. God has given us the ability to prepare ourselves for what ever may come our way in life. The challenges and adversity we face can be minimized with inner built strength and preparation. How we live our life reflects how high the mountains are we climb and how low the valleys are we recess in to.
There is a saying " The definition of luck is when opportunity meets preparation" I have always lived life by this mantra and it finds me feeling very lucky despite what has happened. 2014 has found me very blessed with many victories. I look forward to what 2015 will hold and hope the new year finds you with your daily walk and preparation to be "lucky" in life.
Monday, December 1, 2014
The Highs and the Lows...
I really dislike the word "can't". In fact I don't allow it in our house. When Joie wants to say "I can't", I have her replace it with the phrase "it's difficult". Because while we can do it, it can still be difficult.
I'm finding that most things I do nowadays are difficult. The simplest task takes so much more effort than it used to. everything takes so much more time. Most would think I have the ideal job in my situation, and while there is no doubt I'm blessed to continue work without interruption from my accident... it's still difficult. The chair hurts, especially just sitting in it. Truth is I'm usually good for 2-3 hours in the office before my butt is just on fire and my back aches. Then I typically have to run and errand or two before making it home to find some relief. I usually just want to lay down to release pressure, but inevitably within 10-15 minutes I fall asleep. Typically after that I have to get back up and do therapy, or workout. It's actually very important for my strength to get around and more importantly for my circulation. If I don't workout I get very tight and my hips, back and shoulders become extremely uncomfortable and painful.
I guess I'm sharing this because I think sometimes I paint an unrealistic picture about what I go through. I won't complain, I strive to be positive in all things because it helps me get through. I want to be that person to look up to by finding the good in all I do. But I think sometimes it makes my situation look easier than it is, like I recovered and moved on with minimal disruption. I feel I've made the best of it. However, it comes at a cost of feeling isolated and alone at times with my struggle because I push to keep it internal. I feel if I don't talk about it, I won't give it more power. So I strive to shine light and determination on everything I do. And while I feel good about the compliments and encouraging words from others, it sometimes makes me feel like an actor, a poster boy that has a behind the scenes story.
I will continue to be positive, It's the root of my success. I'm a fighter, and I will always fight. It's the responsibility I have in what has been given to me. I just urge you to always keep in mind, just because somebody has that priceless "can do" attitude... doesn't mean it isn't difficult.
I'm finding that most things I do nowadays are difficult. The simplest task takes so much more effort than it used to. everything takes so much more time. Most would think I have the ideal job in my situation, and while there is no doubt I'm blessed to continue work without interruption from my accident... it's still difficult. The chair hurts, especially just sitting in it. Truth is I'm usually good for 2-3 hours in the office before my butt is just on fire and my back aches. Then I typically have to run and errand or two before making it home to find some relief. I usually just want to lay down to release pressure, but inevitably within 10-15 minutes I fall asleep. Typically after that I have to get back up and do therapy, or workout. It's actually very important for my strength to get around and more importantly for my circulation. If I don't workout I get very tight and my hips, back and shoulders become extremely uncomfortable and painful.
I guess I'm sharing this because I think sometimes I paint an unrealistic picture about what I go through. I won't complain, I strive to be positive in all things because it helps me get through. I want to be that person to look up to by finding the good in all I do. But I think sometimes it makes my situation look easier than it is, like I recovered and moved on with minimal disruption. I feel I've made the best of it. However, it comes at a cost of feeling isolated and alone at times with my struggle because I push to keep it internal. I feel if I don't talk about it, I won't give it more power. So I strive to shine light and determination on everything I do. And while I feel good about the compliments and encouraging words from others, it sometimes makes me feel like an actor, a poster boy that has a behind the scenes story.
I will continue to be positive, It's the root of my success. I'm a fighter, and I will always fight. It's the responsibility I have in what has been given to me. I just urge you to always keep in mind, just because somebody has that priceless "can do" attitude... doesn't mean it isn't difficult.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Like a Boy Scout...
I grew up in an entrepreneurial household. Aside from the farm being a family business my father had other small family businesses he had pursued and succeeded with, the truck dealership, A PEO company, a feed mill and compost company to name a few. Throughout all these family ventures there was always a common theme... hard work and CYB(cover your butt). In all dealings, in all activities make sure that you've done things right to protect yourself and know that you are prepared.
I think that is a big part of handling any adversity, making sure you are prepared. I look as adversity as a training program. I always tell my athletes "The harder you work today, the easier it will be tomorrow". The more in life I fight through the challenges and adversity, the easier it is to overcome and fight through the next adversity. It becomes a life long training program really.
I also believe that the lord prepares us for the challenges that will come later with the obstacles we face today. It's definitely a thread I can see play out in my life now. When I raced motocross professionally I was careful to be real with myself and stay grounded, my natural abilities were not strong. I knew I wasn't going to be one of the fast guys on the track, so to make up for that I worked hard to make sure I was in better shape to do my best to outlast the speed of others. I may not have been the fastest, but I was always one of the strongest, both physically and mentally. Overcoming this challenge in my racing career is what led to my opportunities as a trainer.
My training program continued to develop throughout the years and I was always pushing myself and my body. Danielle has always given me a hard time because I was constantly complaining of being sore. The stronger I got, the harder I would push to bring the pain. I slowly conditioned myself to experiencing fatigued muscles as just a part of life.
Little did I know the big guy was preparing me. Since my accident my back, my hips, my legs constantly hurt. Some days are better than others, but I have accepted a certain level of constant aching that will always be there. It's something I will live with, but because of the mental and physical conditioning of my past it's something I can live with. I guess I'm lucky.
Course I only feel that way based on my definition of lucky. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Opportunity is a common, optimistic word to use as a replacement for problem. I have handled this opportunity because I was prepared.
I encourage all to look at adversity and challenges in life as way to prepare yourself for the next opportunity. The perspective will not only make challenges easier to face... you also might find it just may change your future luck.
I think that is a big part of handling any adversity, making sure you are prepared. I look as adversity as a training program. I always tell my athletes "The harder you work today, the easier it will be tomorrow". The more in life I fight through the challenges and adversity, the easier it is to overcome and fight through the next adversity. It becomes a life long training program really.
I also believe that the lord prepares us for the challenges that will come later with the obstacles we face today. It's definitely a thread I can see play out in my life now. When I raced motocross professionally I was careful to be real with myself and stay grounded, my natural abilities were not strong. I knew I wasn't going to be one of the fast guys on the track, so to make up for that I worked hard to make sure I was in better shape to do my best to outlast the speed of others. I may not have been the fastest, but I was always one of the strongest, both physically and mentally. Overcoming this challenge in my racing career is what led to my opportunities as a trainer.
My training program continued to develop throughout the years and I was always pushing myself and my body. Danielle has always given me a hard time because I was constantly complaining of being sore. The stronger I got, the harder I would push to bring the pain. I slowly conditioned myself to experiencing fatigued muscles as just a part of life.
Little did I know the big guy was preparing me. Since my accident my back, my hips, my legs constantly hurt. Some days are better than others, but I have accepted a certain level of constant aching that will always be there. It's something I will live with, but because of the mental and physical conditioning of my past it's something I can live with. I guess I'm lucky.
Course I only feel that way based on my definition of lucky. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. Opportunity is a common, optimistic word to use as a replacement for problem. I have handled this opportunity because I was prepared.
I encourage all to look at adversity and challenges in life as way to prepare yourself for the next opportunity. The perspective will not only make challenges easier to face... you also might find it just may change your future luck.
Monday, September 15, 2014
The Ripple Effect
Most of us have seen or heard of the movie "The Butterfly Effect", based on the premise that it would be nice to go back in time and change certain things. However, actually doing so could have grave consequences on how things in are life can be effected, and the outcome can be worse than what we originally experienced. The part in this plot I thought to be the most interesting wasn't how it effected the outcome of the lead characters future, but how small changes in his past greatly changed the future of everybody else close to him in his life.
There is no doubt or surprise to how much life has taken a turn down a serious different interstate for me. This isn't exactly something you plan for, but not much that happens in our lives is planned for. It isn't so much what happens to us in our lives, but how we react to what happens that has the most meaning and power in our future experiences. There is no doubt there are several things I miss taking part in; just going for a run, going on foothill hikes, ridin my dirtbike just for starters Camping is a different experience I still enjoy but I'm adjusting to now in a more comfortable manner, not really "rough'in it any more. I would love to just jump up and be able to go to the bathroom real quick in the middle of the night when there is a need! And yet, because my life has been forced to change there are things I am able to see an experience in a different light. I have been forced to hand off more tasks and responsibilities at work, and because of that there are things I enjoy being part of that I wouldn't have taken the time to do before, like taking the time to pick my daughter up from school and hearing about the adventures of her day. Sometimes a forced slow down from the rat race can be a blessing if you look at it the right way, and listen to what life(or the Lord) is telling you.
Yeah....big changes.
Consider though remembering the nuisance's of the movie? I just described how it has changed my life, which is what tends to be right out in front and obvious. The real difficulty is the impact it has had on everybody else around me. How it will shape and impact Joie's life because of things we have gone through. My daughter has done a lot of growing up this year, ready or not. And like I touched upon before, how it has effected our staff in our office. It has been career changing for some, and I have seen growth and acceleration in others beyond all expectations. While they have done an outstanding job, its not a load they signed up for, but have accepted. Despite still being overwhelming and daunting at times.
Then there is my wife, who has had to step up and shoulder more responsibility than anybody. Who has had to muster more strength and courage than all others with no choice in the matter. Well, actually she didn't have to, she could have chosen not to, but she has. It has been harder than anybody has seen or can imagine on her. I thank God everyday he chose her to be my partner on this transition! As accepting as I have been of this life change there are still times I wish I could go back and change it for her and them more than anything.
Or do I? Maybe the alternate path taken could have turned out so much worse in ways I don't see or imagine. I have to remember that God has a plan, for all of us. I have to remember that the path we take or are forced onto isn't just for a reason(you know, everything happens for a reason), but a destiny. If we are wise and listen to his guidance along the detours we are delt, then that destiny will be filled with so many blessings.
Oh, and in your consideration for others you care for and the hardships they face... remember to care and be there for those around them whom equally face their own challenges.
There is no doubt or surprise to how much life has taken a turn down a serious different interstate for me. This isn't exactly something you plan for, but not much that happens in our lives is planned for. It isn't so much what happens to us in our lives, but how we react to what happens that has the most meaning and power in our future experiences. There is no doubt there are several things I miss taking part in; just going for a run, going on foothill hikes, ridin my dirtbike just for starters Camping is a different experience I still enjoy but I'm adjusting to now in a more comfortable manner, not really "rough'in it any more. I would love to just jump up and be able to go to the bathroom real quick in the middle of the night when there is a need! And yet, because my life has been forced to change there are things I am able to see an experience in a different light. I have been forced to hand off more tasks and responsibilities at work, and because of that there are things I enjoy being part of that I wouldn't have taken the time to do before, like taking the time to pick my daughter up from school and hearing about the adventures of her day. Sometimes a forced slow down from the rat race can be a blessing if you look at it the right way, and listen to what life(or the Lord) is telling you.
Yeah....big changes.
Consider though remembering the nuisance's of the movie? I just described how it has changed my life, which is what tends to be right out in front and obvious. The real difficulty is the impact it has had on everybody else around me. How it will shape and impact Joie's life because of things we have gone through. My daughter has done a lot of growing up this year, ready or not. And like I touched upon before, how it has effected our staff in our office. It has been career changing for some, and I have seen growth and acceleration in others beyond all expectations. While they have done an outstanding job, its not a load they signed up for, but have accepted. Despite still being overwhelming and daunting at times.
Then there is my wife, who has had to step up and shoulder more responsibility than anybody. Who has had to muster more strength and courage than all others with no choice in the matter. Well, actually she didn't have to, she could have chosen not to, but she has. It has been harder than anybody has seen or can imagine on her. I thank God everyday he chose her to be my partner on this transition! As accepting as I have been of this life change there are still times I wish I could go back and change it for her and them more than anything.
Or do I? Maybe the alternate path taken could have turned out so much worse in ways I don't see or imagine. I have to remember that God has a plan, for all of us. I have to remember that the path we take or are forced onto isn't just for a reason(you know, everything happens for a reason), but a destiny. If we are wise and listen to his guidance along the detours we are delt, then that destiny will be filled with so many blessings.
Oh, and in your consideration for others you care for and the hardships they face... remember to care and be there for those around them whom equally face their own challenges.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Is your filter clogged?
I watch a lot of sports news, I listen to a lot of sports radio. Partly because I really love sports. But mostly because unlike the regular news, which I never pay attention to, its mostly positive. Yes there are times when there is content toward the negative side, but for the most part sports media is about what some did outstanding or what they achieved against the opposition. It constantly reminds me of what we are capable of with the right attitude and if we push ourselves.
That's difficult for anybody though if your living on the wrong side of the Law of Attraction. Its no new revelation that we are all influenced by what we surround ourselves with, that we can create our own negative or positive subliminal messaging with our environment. I think a large part of my handling the accident in such a strong way is the company I keep. Having those that remind me of my faith, and point out the strengths in my life has been a true blessing. Of course I could have just as easily surrounded my self with a pity parting and gone into self loathing if I had chosen too. The key word being choice.
I also believe if I choose to put a smile on my face, and choose to look at what I can accomplish instead of what is a struggle I help create that positive environment. I don't know too many people that can get smiled at and reciprocate with a scowl. It begins with us and what we choose to project, then our message is enforced with the company we keep. I know there are times when you just get stuck with Eeyore. But that's when we have to steup up and be the Tigger. That's also when I use my filter. We all have selective hearing, it's just a manner of how we use it and what we choose to absorb and reflect. I literally just choose to tune out when somebody goes negative on me, it does me no good to internalize it.
Don't get me wrong I don't think we have to live in fantasy land. I still think we can be real. In fact I think Iam very real. I also think there is a lot of good that can come out of struggles and adversity. Purely in the common focal points of adversity making us stronger, the lesson's we learn from struggles, and how they can shape us as an individual. Life isn't always meant to be easy, to be honest if it was it would be pretty boring. Without sour, sweet wouldn't be sweet.
I thinks that's why I have decided to start a side career doing motivational speaking, to focus on my Law of Attraction. With the struggles I now face I need to remind myself the blessings that can come of it. I can use this mission to hold myself accountable and hopefully help some others remodel there circle of influence along the way. With God's help I can have an impact on shaping the future outlook of others....as well as my own.
That's difficult for anybody though if your living on the wrong side of the Law of Attraction. Its no new revelation that we are all influenced by what we surround ourselves with, that we can create our own negative or positive subliminal messaging with our environment. I think a large part of my handling the accident in such a strong way is the company I keep. Having those that remind me of my faith, and point out the strengths in my life has been a true blessing. Of course I could have just as easily surrounded my self with a pity parting and gone into self loathing if I had chosen too. The key word being choice.
I also believe if I choose to put a smile on my face, and choose to look at what I can accomplish instead of what is a struggle I help create that positive environment. I don't know too many people that can get smiled at and reciprocate with a scowl. It begins with us and what we choose to project, then our message is enforced with the company we keep. I know there are times when you just get stuck with Eeyore. But that's when we have to steup up and be the Tigger. That's also when I use my filter. We all have selective hearing, it's just a manner of how we use it and what we choose to absorb and reflect. I literally just choose to tune out when somebody goes negative on me, it does me no good to internalize it.
Don't get me wrong I don't think we have to live in fantasy land. I still think we can be real. In fact I think Iam very real. I also think there is a lot of good that can come out of struggles and adversity. Purely in the common focal points of adversity making us stronger, the lesson's we learn from struggles, and how they can shape us as an individual. Life isn't always meant to be easy, to be honest if it was it would be pretty boring. Without sour, sweet wouldn't be sweet.
I thinks that's why I have decided to start a side career doing motivational speaking, to focus on my Law of Attraction. With the struggles I now face I need to remind myself the blessings that can come of it. I can use this mission to hold myself accountable and hopefully help some others remodel there circle of influence along the way. With God's help I can have an impact on shaping the future outlook of others....as well as my own.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Shoes to Fill
I had the Fortunate privilege recently to enjoy a much needed vacation on Farmers Insurance dime, thanks to some hard work from myself, Christie, and other staff in our office. We headed to San Antonio with quite a bit of nervousness. I wasn't really sure how things might work out being our first big trip. After all I had taken a small road trip to Vancouver, Washington to see family for a weekend and it hadn't gone so well. So while we were excited to get away, we were very anxious on how things might work out. But what I didn't expect was the life changing experience this trip might hold for me(as if I didn't have enough of that going on lately already).
Being a business trip there were several conventions and sessions Farmers puts on along with all the fun. One of the sessions featured guest speaker Marcus Lutrell(the Lone Survivor from Seal Team 10). I was immediately moved as he shared his story, including the background of his upbringing and training, honoring the memory of his comrades with the details of there mission. He spoke in a manner that came off unrehearsed, from the heart, and almost as if he was in some instances reliving his experience.
Suddenly I felt an unusual calm uncertainty inside that left a flat feeling in my stomach. The challenges that I had faced up to this point felt like nothing but a simple drop in the bucket. The monumental hill I had felt like I was recently climbing turned before my eyes into a mole hill. I was absolutely left speechless inside my own head with what a man can endure as he described the events his teammates and himself endured on their mission. The impact of what I had heard really enveloped me for the next couple days in my mind. I was filled with a mixed sense of how blessed my life was and how insignificant my tribulations were, especially because mine had come from activities of pure horseplay and extra curricular joy.
Perspective is always a wonderful thing and in this thought pattern I was struck with it. The Lord only gives us what we can handle. And he reminds us just how strong and capable of the challenges placed in front of us through the inspiration of others.
The reality is I have no business comparing the adversities in my life with those of someone else. Whether I view someone else's struggles as small and insignificant or monumental, they are the struggles they have to overcome set before them. The adversity I take on in my life was given to me to shape who I am, same as those others face. I will be reminded of that by the inspiring stories of others to keep my head down and focus on being the best me that God has blessed me to aspire to. and I will Pray that my actions will remind others of the same.
Being a business trip there were several conventions and sessions Farmers puts on along with all the fun. One of the sessions featured guest speaker Marcus Lutrell(the Lone Survivor from Seal Team 10). I was immediately moved as he shared his story, including the background of his upbringing and training, honoring the memory of his comrades with the details of there mission. He spoke in a manner that came off unrehearsed, from the heart, and almost as if he was in some instances reliving his experience.
Suddenly I felt an unusual calm uncertainty inside that left a flat feeling in my stomach. The challenges that I had faced up to this point felt like nothing but a simple drop in the bucket. The monumental hill I had felt like I was recently climbing turned before my eyes into a mole hill. I was absolutely left speechless inside my own head with what a man can endure as he described the events his teammates and himself endured on their mission. The impact of what I had heard really enveloped me for the next couple days in my mind. I was filled with a mixed sense of how blessed my life was and how insignificant my tribulations were, especially because mine had come from activities of pure horseplay and extra curricular joy.
Perspective is always a wonderful thing and in this thought pattern I was struck with it. The Lord only gives us what we can handle. And he reminds us just how strong and capable of the challenges placed in front of us through the inspiration of others.
The reality is I have no business comparing the adversities in my life with those of someone else. Whether I view someone else's struggles as small and insignificant or monumental, they are the struggles they have to overcome set before them. The adversity I take on in my life was given to me to shape who I am, same as those others face. I will be reminded of that by the inspiring stories of others to keep my head down and focus on being the best me that God has blessed me to aspire to. and I will Pray that my actions will remind others of the same.
Sunday, July 6, 2014
Hindsight
I absolutely hated farming growing up. I had no use for the day in, day out, mind numbing tasks that cursed my life from a normal childhood. I began to loathe the very animals that I was forced to feed every morning and evening, the fields and crops I were to irrigate and change every 24 hours. Then there was all the extra work it caused me, various repairs, building of new fences and different structures. And while my parents were extremely supportive of all extra curricular activities that kept me from work(consequently I was involved in literally every school activity, sport, and organization), all I could think about were the things and travel I missed out on because of the farm anchor.
Of course today I don't miss the chance to boast of my upbringing in the rural environment and what my responsibilities were. Its amazing the perspective a rear view mirror can create. The valued assets I inherited because of my upbringing have been invaluable, I mean a solid work ethic is the true key to success these days, the dedication and focus are worth their weight in gold. And the time I spent hiding in all the various outside activities gave me a well rounded structure that has speared me on to many accomplishments. Its funny that the curse I grew up with is now the blessing the Lord gave me. Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and damn proud of it.
I have times when things are missed. It's not easy as active as I was to give certain things up. I recently attended a family gathering that was a bit of a struggle. As we boys tend to wonder off with side projects and activities to occupy are time at these thing, I found myself often left in the house with no real means to get in and out to join the boys club as it were.
I've always very motivated to be at an above average fit level. While I plan, skeem, and plot my new fitness regimen there are times when I just want to do the complicated workouts I used to enjoy. It used to be my escape to simply venture into the gym and get my swell on whenever I saw "fit". Now there is not much I can do on my own in the training realm and I'm frustrated when I want to workout and I have no available assistant. I never really crave to walk again, but I do desire to venture on an excruciating foothills run, do some muay tai or bag work, or test my limits at the squat rack or flipping the loader tire.
It would be very easy to become cynical or extremely depressed with the focus on what I miss. But like the farm I once loathed that was coal crushed into a diamond, I remind myself that there is a blessing still in disguise. I have faith I will look back and boast about this period as well, and the new skills and traits I acquired because of it. Who knows I may enjoy winter chair skiing more than I did the regular way. Maybe I come up with a new fighting technique or version of jiu jitsu for the chair dependent to enjoy. Whatever it is God will make sense of it all in time.
I also take refuge in the fact that I lived full throttle and didn't waste time when I was pre-injury. I worked hard so that I could play even harder in life that has maybe create a fondness and longing for the past, but definitely no regrets.
I guess the lesson in all of this for me is take heart and solice in life's hurdles. There is pride and pleasure in the path put before you, because it's the path that shapes you to the great victories and conquests of our futures.
Of course today I don't miss the chance to boast of my upbringing in the rural environment and what my responsibilities were. Its amazing the perspective a rear view mirror can create. The valued assets I inherited because of my upbringing have been invaluable, I mean a solid work ethic is the true key to success these days, the dedication and focus are worth their weight in gold. And the time I spent hiding in all the various outside activities gave me a well rounded structure that has speared me on to many accomplishments. Its funny that the curse I grew up with is now the blessing the Lord gave me. Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and damn proud of it.
I have times when things are missed. It's not easy as active as I was to give certain things up. I recently attended a family gathering that was a bit of a struggle. As we boys tend to wonder off with side projects and activities to occupy are time at these thing, I found myself often left in the house with no real means to get in and out to join the boys club as it were.
I've always very motivated to be at an above average fit level. While I plan, skeem, and plot my new fitness regimen there are times when I just want to do the complicated workouts I used to enjoy. It used to be my escape to simply venture into the gym and get my swell on whenever I saw "fit". Now there is not much I can do on my own in the training realm and I'm frustrated when I want to workout and I have no available assistant. I never really crave to walk again, but I do desire to venture on an excruciating foothills run, do some muay tai or bag work, or test my limits at the squat rack or flipping the loader tire.
It would be very easy to become cynical or extremely depressed with the focus on what I miss. But like the farm I once loathed that was coal crushed into a diamond, I remind myself that there is a blessing still in disguise. I have faith I will look back and boast about this period as well, and the new skills and traits I acquired because of it. Who knows I may enjoy winter chair skiing more than I did the regular way. Maybe I come up with a new fighting technique or version of jiu jitsu for the chair dependent to enjoy. Whatever it is God will make sense of it all in time.
I also take refuge in the fact that I lived full throttle and didn't waste time when I was pre-injury. I worked hard so that I could play even harder in life that has maybe create a fondness and longing for the past, but definitely no regrets.
I guess the lesson in all of this for me is take heart and solice in life's hurdles. There is pride and pleasure in the path put before you, because it's the path that shapes you to the great victories and conquests of our futures.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Finding Your Muse
I love inspirational sports movies. No matter how cheesy, "For Love of the Game", "Warrior", "Miracle", "Goal", there is something about a feel good story that lights a fire inside me to accomplish something and take action now. "Rocky" and "Invincible" are my personal favorites. I love the idea of hardship struck with a never say die attitude. Perseverance with an optimistic motivation and focus conquers.
The other night a close friend shared a YouTube video with me ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K9Gg164Bsw ). The perspective shared by Stella Young was something she hadn't heard before and wanted my take on it. I felt passionate enough about it to share my point with everybody.
I see her point, part of it at least. I agree that to deem somebody an inspiration just because they are struck with a disability is not an accurate conclusion to jump too. I agree that we have created an illusion that a disability is a bad thing and it makes you exceptional. It's not a bad thing and it doesn't automatically make you exceptional(however that doesn't mean you can't be exceptional). We shouldn't automatically patronize anybody as an inspiration for daily life and no true accomplishments. I agree there probably is several people that are deemed inspirational as a compliment to encourage their progress and an attempt to motivate them, or to create an illusion of inspiration to satisfy their own motivational needs.
This isn't what fired me up though. It was her take on "the only real disability is a bad attitude". She thought it was complete crap(I paraphrase to a better word). Her take was that it objectifies people with disabilities to find them inspirational. That is what I believe to be a load of crap.
I was told a story about a man who was to race an Ironman. The morning of he was waiting to start the race with his swim leg of it when adrenaline took a turn toward his nerves and doubt set in. He began to panic to his friends how he was not up to the task before him and must pull out. Until he saw two gentlemen pick up another competitor out of his wheelchair and carry him down to the water to begin the same race he was to compete in. He was suddenly struck with inspiration. In other words, his attitude shifted.
As most of you who really know me know that I believe attitude is everything in this world. It is the single greatest force that pulls us through. Anybody that suffers hardship, a disability, financial instability, emotion loss, and pulls through it to succeed above the odds are inspirational. and those that give up in a pessimistic fashion are disabled into a bad attitude that clasps to there ankle and weights them down to the bottom of the waters of despair.
The other day I sat in my chair at the bottom of our stairs...I didn't simply smile at them, I decided that one way or another I would drag myself to the top to see the loft in our house for the first time. My attitude is what pulled me through, if that causes someone else inspiration then God has used me. If my outlook an attitude despite odds inspires someone else to change their perspective, their attitude, then thank God. I will do great things, not because I'm disabled, but because of my attitude. If God has set that path to accomplish those through a disability then so be it. He has put others in front of me that have inspired me under similar circumstances, Darius Glover, Josh Dueck, Nick Scott, and many others(in fact I keep their YouTube stories in a playlist coincidentally titled Inspire).
In Matthew 5:1-12 it illustrates the beatitudes, a virtual attitude map to success. I think attitude is everything, part of having that proper attitude is constantly being inspired. I pray that God continues to find ways to inspire me and that he uses me to inspire others. Otherwise we are left with a bad attitude-a true disability.
The other night a close friend shared a YouTube video with me ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K9Gg164Bsw ). The perspective shared by Stella Young was something she hadn't heard before and wanted my take on it. I felt passionate enough about it to share my point with everybody.
I see her point, part of it at least. I agree that to deem somebody an inspiration just because they are struck with a disability is not an accurate conclusion to jump too. I agree that we have created an illusion that a disability is a bad thing and it makes you exceptional. It's not a bad thing and it doesn't automatically make you exceptional(however that doesn't mean you can't be exceptional). We shouldn't automatically patronize anybody as an inspiration for daily life and no true accomplishments. I agree there probably is several people that are deemed inspirational as a compliment to encourage their progress and an attempt to motivate them, or to create an illusion of inspiration to satisfy their own motivational needs.
This isn't what fired me up though. It was her take on "the only real disability is a bad attitude". She thought it was complete crap(I paraphrase to a better word). Her take was that it objectifies people with disabilities to find them inspirational. That is what I believe to be a load of crap.
I was told a story about a man who was to race an Ironman. The morning of he was waiting to start the race with his swim leg of it when adrenaline took a turn toward his nerves and doubt set in. He began to panic to his friends how he was not up to the task before him and must pull out. Until he saw two gentlemen pick up another competitor out of his wheelchair and carry him down to the water to begin the same race he was to compete in. He was suddenly struck with inspiration. In other words, his attitude shifted.
As most of you who really know me know that I believe attitude is everything in this world. It is the single greatest force that pulls us through. Anybody that suffers hardship, a disability, financial instability, emotion loss, and pulls through it to succeed above the odds are inspirational. and those that give up in a pessimistic fashion are disabled into a bad attitude that clasps to there ankle and weights them down to the bottom of the waters of despair.
The other day I sat in my chair at the bottom of our stairs...I didn't simply smile at them, I decided that one way or another I would drag myself to the top to see the loft in our house for the first time. My attitude is what pulled me through, if that causes someone else inspiration then God has used me. If my outlook an attitude despite odds inspires someone else to change their perspective, their attitude, then thank God. I will do great things, not because I'm disabled, but because of my attitude. If God has set that path to accomplish those through a disability then so be it. He has put others in front of me that have inspired me under similar circumstances, Darius Glover, Josh Dueck, Nick Scott, and many others(in fact I keep their YouTube stories in a playlist coincidentally titled Inspire).
In Matthew 5:1-12 it illustrates the beatitudes, a virtual attitude map to success. I think attitude is everything, part of having that proper attitude is constantly being inspired. I pray that God continues to find ways to inspire me and that he uses me to inspire others. Otherwise we are left with a bad attitude-a true disability.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
A New Definition
I remember when we were living in California, Danielle worked for an event production company and they got in a pickle. They needed someone to load the truck for an event. I said I would do it as they were having a difficult time finding anyone. Danielle told me to plan for 3 hours or so as it typically took the two boys who normally did it a couple hours. By myself, with a little hustle, I did it in an hour. Just a result of a different mentality, and a little farm boy get-after-it-ness.
Oh how the times have changed. I know I look forward with a positive outlook and Faith that God will prevail with his plan in all of this, but that doesn't mean I don't have struggles. I mean even Jesus asked "Why God...?". It's a definite struggle when you are a person that defined himself as a hard working contributor, a get in and get it done type mentality. The simpler the task I can't do, the more the frustration. The bigger things are obvious and people jump in to pick up the slack thankfully. The simple details, things like hanging pictures and what not, are frustrating when I have to ask for help. I get so tired of struggling with the simplest life functioning tasks. Sometimes my morning routine takes half a day, just to do what used to be done in 30 minutes to an hour. Its hard not to get depressed and lack in self worth when things I used to do without even thinking about it are now a challenge to accomplish. It's difficult to keep your head up at times when you wonder where you will find victory again and your value to contribute to the cause. I definitely have what I consider "throw in the towel" moments where I just want to go back to bed.
However, I don't give up easily. My past success wouldn't have happened if I did, and neither will my future success. Believe me there will be future success. I decided the other day I will find a new challenge, I will set a goal, and I will succeed. Vision is the key to staying focused forward. I cant wonder aimlessly, I have to pick a spot in the distance and head towards it. I have to remind myself that this isn't the end point, but simply step 347 in the thousand. As easy as it is to feel sorry for myself I have to ignore those feelings and tell myself to get up and find the next piece of this puzzle. I mean it may have taken me an hour, but I still managed to unload and load the dishwasher. And that's something.
I will find something to compete in again. I will get back to the top. and God will use me along the way, because you never know who is paying attention. At times I may feel lost in the chaos, but the chaos will slowly diminish. Its still early in finding the new normal, I have to remember that and be patient. This is definitely the longest recovery process I have ever been a part of, but that will just make me stronger in the long run I believe.
One of my therapists told me of a shirt he had seen. It said "God will only challenge us with what we can handle. If that's the case God must think I'm a BadA@$!"... Amen.
Oh how the times have changed. I know I look forward with a positive outlook and Faith that God will prevail with his plan in all of this, but that doesn't mean I don't have struggles. I mean even Jesus asked "Why God...?". It's a definite struggle when you are a person that defined himself as a hard working contributor, a get in and get it done type mentality. The simpler the task I can't do, the more the frustration. The bigger things are obvious and people jump in to pick up the slack thankfully. The simple details, things like hanging pictures and what not, are frustrating when I have to ask for help. I get so tired of struggling with the simplest life functioning tasks. Sometimes my morning routine takes half a day, just to do what used to be done in 30 minutes to an hour. Its hard not to get depressed and lack in self worth when things I used to do without even thinking about it are now a challenge to accomplish. It's difficult to keep your head up at times when you wonder where you will find victory again and your value to contribute to the cause. I definitely have what I consider "throw in the towel" moments where I just want to go back to bed.
However, I don't give up easily. My past success wouldn't have happened if I did, and neither will my future success. Believe me there will be future success. I decided the other day I will find a new challenge, I will set a goal, and I will succeed. Vision is the key to staying focused forward. I cant wonder aimlessly, I have to pick a spot in the distance and head towards it. I have to remind myself that this isn't the end point, but simply step 347 in the thousand. As easy as it is to feel sorry for myself I have to ignore those feelings and tell myself to get up and find the next piece of this puzzle. I mean it may have taken me an hour, but I still managed to unload and load the dishwasher. And that's something.
I will find something to compete in again. I will get back to the top. and God will use me along the way, because you never know who is paying attention. At times I may feel lost in the chaos, but the chaos will slowly diminish. Its still early in finding the new normal, I have to remember that and be patient. This is definitely the longest recovery process I have ever been a part of, but that will just make me stronger in the long run I believe.
One of my therapists told me of a shirt he had seen. It said "God will only challenge us with what we can handle. If that's the case God must think I'm a BadA@$!"... Amen.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Answered Prayers...
What started out as a rough day and evening was turned around with some spiritual music. I realized the self pity and low self esteem I was feeling was a quick attempt by the devil to bring me down. Cause in the midst of all of this he has his reasons...
Danielle and I lead a small group(bible study) through our church. Last spring we did a study based through the book "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. The idea was Steven, at a very young age, took the start of a church out of his garage in a very tough area to 2500 in a very short period. He was called to do the impossible through God, and prayed for a call to action that would in itself be as great as making the sun stand still. We were all challenged internally to have a sun stand still prayer and movement.
I prayed God take a deep passion of mine(Motocross) and turn it into something for his glory. I was quickly moved to change my way of simply trying to lead a prayer at the riders meeting before races to working towards starting a devotion time at the races. I was also moved to lead these devotions myself with some encouragement of others through our church and small group. I was having some pretty good success I thought, reaching on average 10-12 individuals and connecting with some younger individuals even outside of devotions. My prayer was slowly being answered...or so I thought.
You see my Sun Stand Still prayer was for God to do something great through my passion. But what I thought was great was just the beginning, and I believe the Devil worked his way to thwart this Sun Stand Still prayer with my accident this winter(which consequently came shortly after one of our devotion sessions). I'm sure he thought (or hoped) I would spite God for my accident and his lack of protection in my attempt to serve him, to Satan a quick turn to depression would seem a reasonable example and very human.
But through Christ my Sun Stand Still Prayer is now being answered, and the faith in him and his strength through this journey is something I can share on a higher level now. He has always been with me through hard times in the past and I have that same faith stronger then ever that he will turn this to his glory. Deuteronomy 23:5 (thanks pastor Hines) promises to turn these curses to blessings for us. He has strengthened my faith and justified my faith and reminds me of this in Romans 5:1-5(thanks Steph).
So tonight I was down, the devil tried to plant his seed. But a song reminded me of God's glory in my sun stand still prayer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2PNTq_-mZs (a little girly, I know, but great lyrics). I have faith the Lord has a plan, and as promised in Matt. 7:7 my Sun Stand Still Prayer will continued to be answered, in his way and his time.
Danielle and I lead a small group(bible study) through our church. Last spring we did a study based through the book "Sun Stand Still" by Steven Furtick. The idea was Steven, at a very young age, took the start of a church out of his garage in a very tough area to 2500 in a very short period. He was called to do the impossible through God, and prayed for a call to action that would in itself be as great as making the sun stand still. We were all challenged internally to have a sun stand still prayer and movement.
I prayed God take a deep passion of mine(Motocross) and turn it into something for his glory. I was quickly moved to change my way of simply trying to lead a prayer at the riders meeting before races to working towards starting a devotion time at the races. I was also moved to lead these devotions myself with some encouragement of others through our church and small group. I was having some pretty good success I thought, reaching on average 10-12 individuals and connecting with some younger individuals even outside of devotions. My prayer was slowly being answered...or so I thought.
You see my Sun Stand Still prayer was for God to do something great through my passion. But what I thought was great was just the beginning, and I believe the Devil worked his way to thwart this Sun Stand Still prayer with my accident this winter(which consequently came shortly after one of our devotion sessions). I'm sure he thought (or hoped) I would spite God for my accident and his lack of protection in my attempt to serve him, to Satan a quick turn to depression would seem a reasonable example and very human.
But through Christ my Sun Stand Still Prayer is now being answered, and the faith in him and his strength through this journey is something I can share on a higher level now. He has always been with me through hard times in the past and I have that same faith stronger then ever that he will turn this to his glory. Deuteronomy 23:5 (thanks pastor Hines) promises to turn these curses to blessings for us. He has strengthened my faith and justified my faith and reminds me of this in Romans 5:1-5(thanks Steph).
So tonight I was down, the devil tried to plant his seed. But a song reminded me of God's glory in my sun stand still prayer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2PNTq_-mZs (a little girly, I know, but great lyrics). I have faith the Lord has a plan, and as promised in Matt. 7:7 my Sun Stand Still Prayer will continued to be answered, in his way and his time.
Friday, April 4, 2014
Transformation
Most know I was raised on a farm. Which created an attitude of "get it done" no matter what was going on, or how you were doing. Whether you were sick or injured animals needed to be cared for and fed.
Most who know me well, know I'm a bit of a control freak. I'm a bit OCD. I like to be in charge and have things done a certain way. I focus intensely until my goal is accomplished or the task is won. I like to know whats coming up, whats going down, and what the plan of attack will be.
Amongst other lessons God is teaching me to let go and be ok with it, although my internal is fighting all the way. I have a constant battle with myself right now. I'm improving which is good, but it's slow going and I feel like i'm stuck between two worlds, the healing and the get things back to normal and get your butt to work. I'm no energizer bunny. I feel really good, get active, conquer a workout and then about two hours later I feel like I went through a car wash without the car. I start to project my guilt on myself through what I believe others see of me. "You look pretty good, your okay now, life should be normal for you" is what I envision them saying or thinking.
The truth is as much as I want to be in control and set my own timeline for where I should be I'm not and I never was, much like our sport. It's like Nicole Kidman said to Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder "control is an illusion"(bout the only accurate thing in that movie:). As much as I feel lost at times with my limbo condition of feeling better but not yet healed, I have to remember that I'm not in control and never was. God has a plan, I have to remind myself that things will happen on his time.
It can be a struggle, cause financially things are piling up. Don't get me wrong I'm fortunate that my occupation still provides a paycheck in my absence, but that covers the normal bills in a good month, and I result in a lack of production right now. Not to mention all the new bills this situation has provided. It's easy for me to feel responsible(which I am) leading to a lack of self esteem in what seems like a worthless state at times now. The inability to even contribute around the house with minor household tasks to ease Danielle's load doesn't help either.
But I will try to fixate on the Lord and what his promises are, the truth is the future seems impossible and unconquerable at times. But so did the past, and he took care of that. He's gotten me to this point and he knows the effort I give and the position of my heart. Doubt is the other guy trying to interfere. I have to remember that he promises to give what I ask, as long as I work to seek he will let me find, and if I turn to him with a knock he will open the door(refer to Matthew 7:7) Thank you Lord.
Most who know me well, know I'm a bit of a control freak. I'm a bit OCD. I like to be in charge and have things done a certain way. I focus intensely until my goal is accomplished or the task is won. I like to know whats coming up, whats going down, and what the plan of attack will be.
Amongst other lessons God is teaching me to let go and be ok with it, although my internal is fighting all the way. I have a constant battle with myself right now. I'm improving which is good, but it's slow going and I feel like i'm stuck between two worlds, the healing and the get things back to normal and get your butt to work. I'm no energizer bunny. I feel really good, get active, conquer a workout and then about two hours later I feel like I went through a car wash without the car. I start to project my guilt on myself through what I believe others see of me. "You look pretty good, your okay now, life should be normal for you" is what I envision them saying or thinking.
The truth is as much as I want to be in control and set my own timeline for where I should be I'm not and I never was, much like our sport. It's like Nicole Kidman said to Tom Cruise in Days of Thunder "control is an illusion"(bout the only accurate thing in that movie:). As much as I feel lost at times with my limbo condition of feeling better but not yet healed, I have to remember that I'm not in control and never was. God has a plan, I have to remind myself that things will happen on his time.
It can be a struggle, cause financially things are piling up. Don't get me wrong I'm fortunate that my occupation still provides a paycheck in my absence, but that covers the normal bills in a good month, and I result in a lack of production right now. Not to mention all the new bills this situation has provided. It's easy for me to feel responsible(which I am) leading to a lack of self esteem in what seems like a worthless state at times now. The inability to even contribute around the house with minor household tasks to ease Danielle's load doesn't help either.
But I will try to fixate on the Lord and what his promises are, the truth is the future seems impossible and unconquerable at times. But so did the past, and he took care of that. He's gotten me to this point and he knows the effort I give and the position of my heart. Doubt is the other guy trying to interfere. I have to remember that he promises to give what I ask, as long as I work to seek he will let me find, and if I turn to him with a knock he will open the door(refer to Matthew 7:7) Thank you Lord.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Why Motocross?
Do you believe in love at first sight? Motocross was that way for me. From the first race, I had a passion that stirred inside me that gave me an adrenal peace only that sport could for me. It's the only place I've been able to release stress of all kinds. Simply because it's the only place I've been able to completely turn off my mind, it requires that type of focus and concentration.
Motocross was always a challenge. I've never been naturally gifted at it. But my love grew with the fact that it challenged me and I had to work that much harder at it. It's not the easy that we truly love in life. It's what we are motivated to let push and challenge us to be better.
While all that is true, that's just the tip this love gave me. Memories, so many beautiful memories have been forged by motocross. Weekend trips I would take with my dad and brother where we would meet up at the track with three or four other families, and just be together as a larger family. We would all stay at the same motel and create ruckus together through the evening. The next memories were when I went solo, racing professional I was always the runt of the litter. But I fought hard to better myself, my speed, and my abilities. Where I lacked in natural speed I made up in strength, this hard work and dedication forged a respect with my peers that I will never forget. Traveling together in packs as privateers(self funded) to achieve a common goal, weekend in and weekend out. And what the self funding taught me in business is what no college could, with personal experience of marketing, advertising, follow through, customer service, budgeting, basically business.
All this led to memories I was granted on a whole other side of the sport from the work I had put it in. Being a trainer was a whole other set of glasses I got to wear that gave me the gift of seeing the sport through the eyes of the elite. I was able to build friendships that changed my perspective of how to view tracks, lines, and the way you accelerate to go fast. I also learned the unglamorous of what this sport can do to an individual and those that cared for them.
Its what motivated me to bring Christ back into being part of this great sport with a ministry and devotion. I was internally motivated to get back to the family side of the sport with my own and a new generation of Families to share it with me.
God gave us free will with his love for us, we get to choose and create our own consequences.
If you asked me I could have my legs back for sure, but it would cost me all that... what would your answer be?
Motocross was always a challenge. I've never been naturally gifted at it. But my love grew with the fact that it challenged me and I had to work that much harder at it. It's not the easy that we truly love in life. It's what we are motivated to let push and challenge us to be better.
While all that is true, that's just the tip this love gave me. Memories, so many beautiful memories have been forged by motocross. Weekend trips I would take with my dad and brother where we would meet up at the track with three or four other families, and just be together as a larger family. We would all stay at the same motel and create ruckus together through the evening. The next memories were when I went solo, racing professional I was always the runt of the litter. But I fought hard to better myself, my speed, and my abilities. Where I lacked in natural speed I made up in strength, this hard work and dedication forged a respect with my peers that I will never forget. Traveling together in packs as privateers(self funded) to achieve a common goal, weekend in and weekend out. And what the self funding taught me in business is what no college could, with personal experience of marketing, advertising, follow through, customer service, budgeting, basically business.
All this led to memories I was granted on a whole other side of the sport from the work I had put it in. Being a trainer was a whole other set of glasses I got to wear that gave me the gift of seeing the sport through the eyes of the elite. I was able to build friendships that changed my perspective of how to view tracks, lines, and the way you accelerate to go fast. I also learned the unglamorous of what this sport can do to an individual and those that cared for them.
Its what motivated me to bring Christ back into being part of this great sport with a ministry and devotion. I was internally motivated to get back to the family side of the sport with my own and a new generation of Families to share it with me.
God gave us free will with his love for us, we get to choose and create our own consequences.
If you asked me I could have my legs back for sure, but it would cost me all that... what would your answer be?
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Hurry up and wait...
You ever have those moments in life where you have a deep realization of the change your life has taken, a complete irreversible change? It becomes clear that your on another path now and you have a complete different outlook on that 5 year plan. Marriage, becoming a parent, winning the lottery(I wish) are all life changes that we don't actually embrace until they are part of our present.
I'm ready to go home. The staff is great here, the nurses and cna's have been awesome. I really click with my therapists and enjoy working with them. But I'm tired of feeling alone at night, disconnected from so many parts of my life. Starring at the same neutral gray has become a real downer and its time for the next chapter. I'm ready too, I do everything myself. The obvious stuff we take for granted is what I'm referring to; getting in/out of bed, goimg to the bathroom, showering, getting dressed, what most do half asleep. It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty calling in the nurses for help. If push comes to shove I could do the task, I just use them out of a matter of convenience. Yes it's time to go home and use out patient therapy to conquer the next Chapter.
The only caveat is that home is real. Up to this point I've been in an entire different world so everything has somewhat of a dream state. Home is familiar, well, a familiar of a different nature. Going home is an awakening. Up to this point I've been killing it in the simulator, but now its time to take that first solo flight.
I'd be lying if I was to say there was no fear, but it's there. I try to remember I was also afraid several times I lined up on the gate for a race. That fear can destroy your chances and freeze your abilities, or it can ignite that deep drive in you to accelerate success. I use this analogy to remind myself what I can and need to do.
I have a huge support system in friends and family that will help and be there every step of the way. I also have a guide, a God that has a plan. I just need to follow that plan and stick to it, ride the adventure that is.
It's time to go home.... I've had the realization, its time to start down the new path and get this plane off the ground.
I'm ready to go home. The staff is great here, the nurses and cna's have been awesome. I really click with my therapists and enjoy working with them. But I'm tired of feeling alone at night, disconnected from so many parts of my life. Starring at the same neutral gray has become a real downer and its time for the next chapter. I'm ready too, I do everything myself. The obvious stuff we take for granted is what I'm referring to; getting in/out of bed, goimg to the bathroom, showering, getting dressed, what most do half asleep. It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty calling in the nurses for help. If push comes to shove I could do the task, I just use them out of a matter of convenience. Yes it's time to go home and use out patient therapy to conquer the next Chapter.
The only caveat is that home is real. Up to this point I've been in an entire different world so everything has somewhat of a dream state. Home is familiar, well, a familiar of a different nature. Going home is an awakening. Up to this point I've been killing it in the simulator, but now its time to take that first solo flight.
I'd be lying if I was to say there was no fear, but it's there. I try to remember I was also afraid several times I lined up on the gate for a race. That fear can destroy your chances and freeze your abilities, or it can ignite that deep drive in you to accelerate success. I use this analogy to remind myself what I can and need to do.
I have a huge support system in friends and family that will help and be there every step of the way. I also have a guide, a God that has a plan. I just need to follow that plan and stick to it, ride the adventure that is.
It's time to go home.... I've had the realization, its time to start down the new path and get this plane off the ground.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
Passion and Focus
I was strolling through the channels one Saturday afternoon in 1996, looking for a basketball game. Hoping to check out Jordan and his Bulls do their thing, I paused for a moment as I came across supercross on ESPN and was introduced to McGrath...I was hooked.
I was planning the first year of races I wanted to hit after testing the waters the prior September with a race in Rupert. I figured it would take $1,100 to cover my required expenses for this, with many nay-sayers I raised $1,600.00 in sponsorships. I didn't eventually turn pro through speed and ability. I achieved the level through hard work, constant training and practice. I also put a race program together that earned me $10k to 20k a year for my racing.
When I took over my first agency I was quickly passionate and fixed on helping others with Life insurance to protect families. My competitive nature sought out competition in this passion. The prior agent from the agency I had taken over used to brag how he had sold 47 policies in his first year as an agent. I sold 48. When I was congratulated for this I was also told in passing that nobody could sell 100 policies in a year, this at a dinner in December with a fellow agent and my DM. In the following year I was officially ranked 1st in the state and 25th of 12,000 in the nation with 103 policies sold.
I don't write this to brag or pat myself on the back...
A lot of people ask me how? My answer is first you have to be passionate. You have to have a deep desire and motivation for what you seek. Second and most important you have to be focused. Focus is the true key to success. The number one enemy is distraction; not enough time, other tasks come up, others occupy my attention, and whatever excuse you may have are all distractions that divert your focus. You have to prioritize and passion makes that easier. Passion allows you to block the distractions and have more of a tunnel vision to focus.
I bring up my past because it's a reminder of what I'm capable of accomplishing. God has truly blessed me in the abilities he's given me and what they've allowed me to do. My past is a carrot in front of me to remind myself not to squander those abilities as I push forward with new goals and challenges. I recently found an excellent You Tube video that also serves as a great reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJWIRyUAur8
I was planning the first year of races I wanted to hit after testing the waters the prior September with a race in Rupert. I figured it would take $1,100 to cover my required expenses for this, with many nay-sayers I raised $1,600.00 in sponsorships. I didn't eventually turn pro through speed and ability. I achieved the level through hard work, constant training and practice. I also put a race program together that earned me $10k to 20k a year for my racing.
When I took over my first agency I was quickly passionate and fixed on helping others with Life insurance to protect families. My competitive nature sought out competition in this passion. The prior agent from the agency I had taken over used to brag how he had sold 47 policies in his first year as an agent. I sold 48. When I was congratulated for this I was also told in passing that nobody could sell 100 policies in a year, this at a dinner in December with a fellow agent and my DM. In the following year I was officially ranked 1st in the state and 25th of 12,000 in the nation with 103 policies sold.
I don't write this to brag or pat myself on the back...
A lot of people ask me how? My answer is first you have to be passionate. You have to have a deep desire and motivation for what you seek. Second and most important you have to be focused. Focus is the true key to success. The number one enemy is distraction; not enough time, other tasks come up, others occupy my attention, and whatever excuse you may have are all distractions that divert your focus. You have to prioritize and passion makes that easier. Passion allows you to block the distractions and have more of a tunnel vision to focus.
I bring up my past because it's a reminder of what I'm capable of accomplishing. God has truly blessed me in the abilities he's given me and what they've allowed me to do. My past is a carrot in front of me to remind myself not to squander those abilities as I push forward with new goals and challenges. I recently found an excellent You Tube video that also serves as a great reminder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJWIRyUAur8
Thursday, March 6, 2014
There is no "I" in recovery.
Right after my accident, in the hospital, after all the tests had been done they had concluded that my pelvis/hip was broke(amongst several other things). It was relayed to us that I would have to be transported to SLC or Portland to have the surgery done. A day or two later we were told that 2 doctors decided they could handle the procedure locally. Feeling a little uneasy, one of the doctors came in to the hospital room to introduce himself and explain they would like to do the surgery the following day at 1pm. Danielle quickly spoke up and interrupted the doctor; ''HOLD ON, we were told nobody here could do this procedure and now you guys are wanting to, we don't want a half-ass job done here". After the instant shock of the intestinal fortitude of Danielle's statement wore off, a crack of a half smile came across my face. I knew she had me taken care of.
While I was a bit of a love-aholic during most of my dating years, Danielle was not a girl I had love at first sight for. I didn't even fall in love with Danielle, I grew in love with Danielle. She grew into a partner in life that I thank God for every day. I don't know how I would go through this without her. To have someone that keeps life running while handling hospital and rehab bills, preparing the house and life for my return home, and finding us a new home at the same time is a true blessing.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes one to help a mx junkie get things together and get through recovery as well. So many pictures are casted everyday on the negative in this world. But there is still a lot of good to be seen. The help and support of all family and friends has been nothing short of a miracle. It has been amazing to see what people are willing to step up and how they will help.
It just reiterates to me the importance of the relationships we build and who we surround ourselves with. The success of life in so many ways are not on us alone but the community we build around us. Thank God once again my community are Champions!
While I was a bit of a love-aholic during most of my dating years, Danielle was not a girl I had love at first sight for. I didn't even fall in love with Danielle, I grew in love with Danielle. She grew into a partner in life that I thank God for every day. I don't know how I would go through this without her. To have someone that keeps life running while handling hospital and rehab bills, preparing the house and life for my return home, and finding us a new home at the same time is a true blessing.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes one to help a mx junkie get things together and get through recovery as well. So many pictures are casted everyday on the negative in this world. But there is still a lot of good to be seen. The help and support of all family and friends has been nothing short of a miracle. It has been amazing to see what people are willing to step up and how they will help.
It just reiterates to me the importance of the relationships we build and who we surround ourselves with. The success of life in so many ways are not on us alone but the community we build around us. Thank God once again my community are Champions!
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