I absolutely hated farming growing up. I had no use for the day in, day out, mind numbing tasks that cursed my life from a normal childhood. I began to loathe the very animals that I was forced to feed every morning and evening, the fields and crops I were to irrigate and change every 24 hours. Then there was all the extra work it caused me, various repairs, building of new fences and different structures. And while my parents were extremely supportive of all extra curricular activities that kept me from work(consequently I was involved in literally every school activity, sport, and organization), all I could think about were the things and travel I missed out on because of the farm anchor.
Of course today I don't miss the chance to boast of my upbringing in the rural environment and what my responsibilities were. Its amazing the perspective a rear view mirror can create. The valued assets I inherited because of my upbringing have been invaluable, I mean a solid work ethic is the true key to success these days, the dedication and focus are worth their weight in gold. And the time I spent hiding in all the various outside activities gave me a well rounded structure that has speared me on to many accomplishments. Its funny that the curse I grew up with is now the blessing the Lord gave me. Frankly, I feel incredibly lucky and damn proud of it.
I have times when things are missed. It's not easy as active as I was to give certain things up. I recently attended a family gathering that was a bit of a struggle. As we boys tend to wonder off with side projects and activities to occupy are time at these thing, I found myself often left in the house with no real means to get in and out to join the boys club as it were.
I've always very motivated to be at an above average fit level. While I plan, skeem, and plot my new fitness regimen there are times when I just want to do the complicated workouts I used to enjoy. It used to be my escape to simply venture into the gym and get my swell on whenever I saw "fit". Now there is not much I can do on my own in the training realm and I'm frustrated when I want to workout and I have no available assistant. I never really crave to walk again, but I do desire to venture on an excruciating foothills run, do some muay tai or bag work, or test my limits at the squat rack or flipping the loader tire.
It would be very easy to become cynical or extremely depressed with the focus on what I miss. But like the farm I once loathed that was coal crushed into a diamond, I remind myself that there is a blessing still in disguise. I have faith I will look back and boast about this period as well, and the new skills and traits I acquired because of it. Who knows I may enjoy winter chair skiing more than I did the regular way. Maybe I come up with a new fighting technique or version of jiu jitsu for the chair dependent to enjoy. Whatever it is God will make sense of it all in time.
I also take refuge in the fact that I lived full throttle and didn't waste time when I was pre-injury. I worked hard so that I could play even harder in life that has maybe create a fondness and longing for the past, but definitely no regrets.
I guess the lesson in all of this for me is take heart and solice in life's hurdles. There is pride and pleasure in the path put before you, because it's the path that shapes you to the great victories and conquests of our futures.
