Hurry up and wait...

You ever have those moments in life where you have a deep realization of the change your life has taken, a complete irreversible change?  It becomes clear that your on another path now and you have a complete different outlook on that 5 year plan.  Marriage, becoming a parent, winning the lottery(I wish) are all life changes that we don't actually embrace until they are part of our present.

I'm ready to go home.  The staff is great here, the nurses and cna's have been awesome.  I really click with my therapists and enjoy working with them.  But I'm tired of feeling alone at night, disconnected from so many parts of my life.  Starring at the same neutral gray has become a real downer and its time for the next chapter.  I'm ready too, I do everything myself.  The obvious stuff we take for granted is what I'm referring to; getting in/out of bed, goimg to the bathroom, showering, getting dressed, what most do half asleep.  It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty calling in the nurses for help.  If push comes to shove I could do the task, I just use them out of a matter of convenience.  Yes it's time to go home and use out patient therapy to conquer the next Chapter.

The only caveat is that home is real.  Up to this point I've been in an entire different world so everything has somewhat of a dream state.  Home is familiar, well, a familiar of a different nature.  Going home is an awakening.  Up to this point I've been killing it in the simulator, but now its time to take that first solo flight.

I'd be lying if I was to say there was no fear, but it's there.  I try to remember I was also afraid several times I lined up on the gate for a race.  That fear can destroy your chances and freeze your abilities, or it can ignite that deep drive in you to accelerate success.  I use this analogy to remind myself what I can and need to do. 

I have a huge support system in friends and family that will help and be there every step of the way.  I also have a guide, a God that has a plan.  I just need to follow that plan and stick to it, ride the adventure that is.

It's time to go home.... I've had the realization, its time to start down the new path and get this plane off the ground.